Cindy opened the door to the unexpected knock. Her lovely face registered surprise on seeing Barnabas.

"Am I welcome?" he asked sheepishly. When it seemed she might close the door, in his face, he reached out to stop her attempt. "I won't stay long, if you don't want me to," he promised, quietly.

She frowned, as if suspicious of his passiveness. Again it seemed as if she were about to close the door. And he couldn't blame her if she did.

"Please Cindy," he begged now. "What I have to say won't take long, and if you still hate me, I'll go and never bother you again."

She stared into his serious brown eyes that were so like his father's, and saw that he meant it.
She opened the door wider, and disappeared into the living room.

Barnabas sighed, and followed her in. Well, he'd gotten this far, but she certainly wasn't going to make it easy for him.

She stood with her back to him, arms folded across her chest. He looked down at the floor.
Where could he start? It had been almost a week since he had last seen her, and so much had happened. He wished a lot of it had never happened, least of all his apparent split with Cindy.
And he vowed that if things could just return to how they were, he'd change. He change, for the better.

"How've you been?" he asked, looking up again, to face that ramrod straight back.
Now Cindy whirled to face him angrily. "How do you think I been!" she shouted.

"I'm sorry," he said looking down again.

"I'll bet you are!" she spat. Then she sighed, and sat down, Barnabas remained standing. "I heard about your father," she said in a calmer voice. "How is he?"

He risked looking at her again. "The doctors' don't hold much hope."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah. But not as much as I am," he said swallowing. "Look Cin, I didn't come here to talk about my father."

"Then what did you come for?"

Now that the actual time had come, he felt panic rise in him. What he said now, would effect not only his future, but also that of Cindy and his child. And he was determined to have them both in his life. If it hadn't been for the addiction to Prozac, then none of this would be happening.

His mouth felt dry, and he licked his lips nervously. He couldn't look at her. Not while he told her about this.

When he spoke, it was with a degree of difficulty. "I'm sorry I walked out on you the other day," he began. "And for what I said."

"Well you said you're sorry, you can go now," said Cindy from the sofa.

He looked at her, in alarm. "You want me to go?" he whispered, in a panicky voice.

"You said it wouldn't take long," reminded Cindy.

"Cin, please! Let me explain!" he pleaded.

"What's to explain? You've made your feelings pretty clear."

He felt his world crashing down. He'd dug his own grave, and now there was no way out.
"Cindy, you've got to listen to me!" he begged, desperately.

"I don't have to do a damn thing!"

"Cindy, I'm begging you to listen to me! It's important!" he practically sobbed. "PLEASE!"

Cindy stared at him, furiously. But on seeing his pleading expression, she knew that she would do as he asked. He could be persuasive when he wished. Too persuasive, she thought fondly, as the thought of the baby they had created, crossed her mind.

"Alright," she sighed, and Barnabas could have embraced her. But he restrained himself. This was not the time, not yet.

"I know I don't deserve it, Cindy, but can't we start again?" he began desperately. "I know at time, it might not seem I love you, but I do. And the other day was one of them. I wasn't walking out on you. Not really." He saw the doubt on her face, and knew that the future he wanted was rapidly disappearing.

"If you ever loved me, Cin, you've got to believe me!" he implored, his voice creaking slightly. "It's no excuse I know, but, but…." He hung his head in shame. He couldn't say it! He couldn't do it!

"But what?" asked Cindy. "But what, Barnabas?"

He looked at her, his eyes pleading she understand. "I-I-" He gulped, his throat clicked, as he fought to stop from totally from breaking down. "I'm, I'm taking drugs!" he finally, sobbingly admitted.
Her eyes widened, startled, and he turned away from her.

"Drugs?" she questioned. "For how long?"

"Does it matter?" he asked brokenly.

"I want to know."

"Three months."

"Three months?" she gasped. "But the baby.."

He turned to look at her again. "Will be fine. I didn't start taking them until I went back. When is the baby due, anyway?"

"January. But why?"

"The pressure of studying finally got to me. I'd failed a couple of exams, and I'd barely managed to pass the re-sits. So I started taking pills to help me concentrate. It just started with one, then I needed more, until finally I wanted them all the time. I tried to stop once. But the withdrawal symptoms convinced me otherwise. It was then, that I decided to hide the fact.

Until last week, I'd managed it. When you told me, you were pregnant, I discovered that the bottle I keep with me was missing. All I could think about was finding those pills."

"What happened?"

"I couldn't find them. I ransacked almost every room, before Julia found me. She wants to help me. If I don't beat this, I'll never make it as a doctor."

"Are they working?"

"Julia says they will. I know I don't deserve it, but will you give me that second chance? I do love you Cindy. Very much."

The doubtful look was still on her face, and he feared that he had left things too long. But instead, she smiled, and walked over to him. Putting her arms around his neck, she said, "Come here, you dope! You've got you're second chance."

His arms enveloped her gently, and kissed her ardently, gratefully.

When the kiss ended, he stared deeply into her eyes, his own sparkling. "You won't regret it, I promise."

"Yeah right," she said ruefully. "I believe that when I see it. Somehow, I don't see you as the pill-popping kind. But I've promised your moth- Mrs. Collins, I'd help you, and I will."

"You mean you already knew?"

Cindy smiled. "Yeah, she came and told me all the sordid details. Including the fight you had with Daniel. I agreed to help, but only if you told me yourself. But I never said I'd make it easy for you."

Barnabas smiled bitterly. "Believe me, you didn't. And I'm glad you didn't, because now I now what a bastard I've been to everyone. Including you and Julia. Not anymore. Things are going to change. Starting with us."

"What do you mean?"

He looked at her intently, before kissing her once more, his hands roaming over her back, and hips.

When he broke the kiss, he said, "Cin, will you marry me?"

She stared at him, mutely. Married? He frowned at her hesitation. "Don't you want to get married?"

"Yes. But I think we should wait until things are more settled. We shouldn't rush things, and besides, don't you think it would be better to wait, until your father's better?"

"You mean you want to wait to see if I keep my promise about the stupid pills," he accused her.

"Well, if you're going to get stroppy…" began Cindy removing her arms from his neck.

He immediately pulled her to him. "Look, I'm sorry. You're right, we'll wait until my father's recovered. But not for too long. The bambino will be showing soon."

He was about to kiss her again, when a small beep emitted from the waist of his jeans.

He disentangled himself from Cindy, and unhooked the pager, Julia had given him for his birthday.

"It's Julia," he said. "Can I use your phone?"

"Help yourself."

A few minutes later, he came over to her. "It's my father. He's regained consciousness, and he wants to see me. Will you come?"

"Do you want me to?"

"More than anything."

"Alright. Give me two minutes."

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Julia was waiting outside the room, when they both arrived. A smile lit her face, on seeing them together.

"How is he Julia?" asked Barnabas on reaching her.

"He's been asking for you. Said it was important that he see you." Then turning her attention to Cindy she asked, "Well there's no need to ask why you're here. I take it, you two are 'on together' again?"

Cindy smiled up at Barnabas. "You could say that," she said her eyes twinkling. "Warts and all."

"I'd better see what he wants," said Barnabas. "You don't mind waiting do you, Cin?"

"Go on," she urged.

He kissed her, something he hadn't done in front of Julia, and said, "I won't be long."

Julia watched after him, a triumphant gleam in her eyes. Her judgement of Cindy Lambert hadn't been an error, after all. If anyone were able to get through to the troubled young man, she was proud to call her stepson, then Cindy would.

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Barnabas quietly approached the bed, where Daniel was keeping a silent vigil.

As he approached Daniel looked up. His face clouded on seeing his older brother.

"He asked to see me, Dan," said Barnabas, quietly.

"Though I can't think why!"

"Look, I'm sorry this happened Daniel. Really I am. How is he, anyway?"

"He's resting. Dr Davidson says he might recover after all, as long as he isn't upset," said Daniel emphasising "upset."

"I won't upset him," he promised.

"Barnabas, is that you?" said his father, weakly form the bed.

"Yeah, It's me," replied Barnabas, stepping closer to the bed. "I cam as soon as I could."

Barnabas Snr turned his white head to his second son. "You will leave us," he said. "What I have to say, must be said alone."

Daniel shot a resentful look at his brother, but rose from his chair, and said, "Alright father." I'll be outside with Julia."

As he passed him, Barnabas grabbed his arm, "Listen, I know I've not been the best brother in the world, not since mother died anyway. But I promise you, that I won't let anything happen to Father. I'm sorry this happened. And I'm sorry I hit you. I should never have done it."

Daniel looked at him, the hard look in his eyes softening. "Don't tire him. He needs his rest."

"I won't. And this is between you and me. When he's better, Cindy and I are getting married."

Daniel's eyes lit up. "You're back with her?"

Barnabas nodded a smile on his face. "Yeah, she's waiting outside with Julia. And guess what? It's because of you, we're back together."

Dan frowned, "How'd you figure that out?"

"If it hadn't been for our fight, then I'd still be popping those pills, like they were smarties."

Dan laughed. "You're crazy, but I love you anyway, big bro!"

Barnabas laughed, "Get out of here!"

When they were alone he, went back over to his father's bedside. "What did you want to talk to me about, Father?"

His father looked at him, with dull eyes. "There's something I want you to do. And you must, are you will never understand."

"Do what Father? What won't I understand?"

"There in the locker, you will find them."

Barnabas went to the locker his father had indicated. Inside were two journals. He flipped through them. They were all in the same writing as the other one, only these were much more legible.

He stared at his father in surprise. "But these are you private journals," he said. It was one thing to read one, when his father knew nothing about it, but to discover that there were two more, was another.

"Promise me, that you'll read them!" insisted his father. "Promise me! Only then will you understand what I have tried so vainly to protect you from. Eight years ago, you learned part of the truth. It was a truth that has lost me a son. A son, who made me the proudest man on this earth!"

"Father!" breathed Barnabas.

"Read them, Son. And perhaps, you will one day learn to forgive those actions of others and myself. Promise me, Barnabas! Promise!"

"I will father! I promise!"

Dark Shadows is a Dan Curtis Production.