The Journals,Conclusion
Date: 11/1/98
From: barnster

Barnabas stared at her, numbed. His face drained of all colour, as he tried to comprehend, what she had said.

"He-he died?" he stammered owlishly, still unwilling to believe her. "B-but, but he can't be!" he said, as if merely saying that he couldn't, would turn the clock back, and make everything all right again.

Julia placed a hand on his arm, and said, "It's true, Barnabas. As much as we wish it were true, it is."

"No," he said shaking his head, determinedly. "No!" he shouted, his voice cracking slightly. And turned his steps, determinedly to his father's room.

"Barnabas---" began Julia, as she watched him disappear through the door. Fighting back her own tears, she followed him into the room.

He stood at the foot of his father's bed, and stood staring at the motionless form, with a look of anger on his face.

"Barnabas," repeated Julia, quietly, reaching out to comfort him. The look on his face stopped her, however, and she retracted her hand.

The door opened suddenly, and Daniel walked into the room. Barnabas and Julia both turned to face him.

Daniel's face, once grief-stricken, now was set with fury. He strode over to his older brother, angrily.

As he neared him, Barnabas saw the tears that still streaked his brother's cheeks. "You killed him!" Daniel hissed, his voice breaking. "It's your fault!" he sobbed.

"Dan," began Barnabas, his said in a quivering voice. "I-I'm--"

Daniel's fist connected with his mouth and he felt blood cascade over his chin, and into his mouth. He felt tears of pain prick his eyes. "I'm sorry, Dan!" he said, and raised his arms to defend himself from another blow.

"Stop it Daniel!" hissed Julia, tearfully, as she raised a hand, and grabbed his clenched fist, in vice-grip. "This is neither the time nor the place!"

Daniel tears coursing down his cheeks, glared at her, and then at his brother, dabbing at his mashed lip.

"I hate you!" he said to Barnabas, venomously, and left the room.

Barnabas stared after him, his with pain-filled eyes. But he still refused to give way to his own grief.

Julia went over to him, and looked at him, concerned. He turned away from her.

"Before he died, your father asked me to give you this," she said to his back, holding out a white envelope.

He turned to face her, his eyes briefly searching her face, and then the envelope. He took it, and opened it, with trembling hands.

'My dear son,

Though it pains me to write this, I know that you will understand. And hopefully, by the time you read this, you will have learnt the truth that your mother or I ever wanted you to know. But, eight years ago, you did partially discover the truth.

I understand your anger at this discovery, and perhaps one-day, you will find the way, to forgiveness. As I now give you.

I realise now, that I was wrong about Cindy. She loves you very much, as I know you love her. I know that you will do the right thing, by her, and that you will happy together.

I am sorry now, that I didn't show more understanding towards the pressures of studying, or how important your ambition to be a doctor was.

With Julia and Cindy's help, I know that you will fight against your curse, just as I endeavoured to fight against mine.

Though we will no longer be together, I will always be proud of you. And I know that you will one day make an excellent doctor.

Don't blame yourself for my death, as you will. But do not grieve. I have lived for so long, that I don't fear death. For so long, I have been denied the peace of the grave, and I welcome it, with open arms.

Until we are reunited, you're loving father.

B.C, Snr.'

Barnabas crumpled the letter in his hands. Tears stood proud in his brown eyes. His father was dead! He let out a sob.

He was almost turned away from Julia, as she reached out to him. Instead he gave up resisting and he allowed her to take him in her arms.

"I loved him, Julia!" he finally sobbed. "I loved him!"

"We both loved him," she said, her own grief returning.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Julia!" he continued to sob, finally releasing his unresolved grief at the death of his mother.

They stood, in each other arms, each comforting the other, united in their mutual grief.

**************************************************************************

In the days that followed, a change came over Barnabas. He became withdrawn and distant, for more than usual.

It was evident to all that he blamed himself, as did Daniel.

If Barnabas' relationship to his younger brother grew more strained, his relationship with Julia grew in strength. He realised not for the first time, that she wasn't so bad after all, and regretted that he hadn't discovered this earlier.

It had been the day of his father's funeral; the real change became apparent.

After the service, Barnabas remained standing silently beside the grave, as the rest of the family, including David and Lauren, and their two children, Jordan and Chelsea, headed towards the Old House.

Cindy hovered by his side, reluctant to leave him.

"Barnabas?" she asked quietly.

He turned to face her, his face gaunt and pale. He crunched one of his pills, and turned back to the grave.

"Go back with the others, Cin," he said in a hollow voice.

"Not unless you come, too," she urged. "You shouldn't stay here, alone."

"Go on Cindy," he said, turning to face her again, his eyes, dark hollows in his pale face. "I'll follow in a few minutes."

Cindy seemed about to protest, but she nodded instead, and kissed him on the cheek, before heading towards the old house.

When he was alone he closed his eyes, and sighed heavily.

"Forgive me, Father!" he suddenly cried, as tears ran down his pale cheeks. "I'm sorry!"

He sank to his knees, and sobbed brokenly. As if from far away, a sound, like hushed voices, blew on an almost no-existent breeze.

As the sound came closer, he recognised it, as his father's!

"I forgive you, son. But don't grieve for me. Will always be together. I will live on in you."

The sound faded away, until all that was left, was the rustle of the leaves, and the melancholy cry of a seagull.

He returned to the old house an hour later. David and his family had left, but Cindy still remained. For once she and Sarah weren't fighting like two tigers.

Stephanie sat cuddling a doll, still unable to understand that Daddy would never be coming back.

Barnabas stared at her; she'd be around the age Sarah and Daniel were, when their mother died.

The realisation made his heart wrench. He went over to her, and squatted down.

"Steph," he said quietly.

She looked up at him, her green eyes filled with tears, and a slight fear of him.

"I want my Daddy back," she whispered.

"I know. I want him back too," he said truthfully. "But he had to go away, to look after my Mommy and little brother."

"And Sabre?" she asked tearfully.

He smiled bleakly. "And Sabre. Come here, Sis," he said, and embraced her, as she sobbed quietly against his chest. "I'm never going to let anything happen to you. And when Cindy and I get married, you can be our flower girl. Would you like that?"

She looked up into his face, with a surprised look. "You really mean it, Barnabas?" she whispered, her tears forgotten.

"Course I do. You're my little sister, right?"

She grinned a gap-toothed grin. "Right!" she said happily, and hugged him again.

For a while, Barnabas gave in to his addiction to Prozac, but with Cindy and Julia's help, he's dependence grew less and less. Though there were dark days, he finally beat it altogether.

He and Cindy did marry and were very happy together. Daniel eventually stopped blaming his brother for their father's death, and Sarah also accepted Cindy.

Barnabas kept his vow, and looked after Stephanie, as his true sister.

Six months later, on January 17th, his daughter--Margaret Julia--was born. And he named her after his two mothers.

His and Cindy's happiness was short -lived however, when three months after his daughter's birth, Julia died in her sleep. Without Barnabas, she felt incomplete.

Barnabas had heard her say long ago that she would never be able to live without him, and it seemed that she was right.

A year later, he graduated with honours, and he went into research.

By the time his son, Barnabas Jordan was born, he had discovered the antibody, that would eliminate the vampire cell, that had caused so much tragedy.

Finally ending the dark shadows that threatened them all.

The end.

Dark Shadows is a Dan Curtis Production.