Chapter X

CAROLYN KNOWS

Maggie groped for the pill bottle on the bedside table. Struggling to open it, she was becoming agitated, but finally achieved her purpose. Taking three of the small pills Dr. Hoffman had prescribed for her a month earlier, she swallowed them not bothering with water.

Maggie had discovered these pills dulled her pain. They let her sleep without the demons of obsession and jealousy waking to taunt and torment her, nipping at her until she would be pulling her hair out by the handfuls. The tenuous cord on sanity would break, causing her, while holding handfuls of hair, to shake her head back and forth, mumbling "No, no, no, no," over and over again. It would get louder, and she would grab her hair, and then she would scream the word "No!"

She always felt nauseated. It was always there, she would throw up until she was dry-heaving. Her head would hurt, her stomach was cramping from the irritation of the lining that followed the throwing up. Maggie was dehydrating. She couldn't remember when the nausea had started, now, it just seemed to be a part of her like the obsession with Barnabas Collins.

Julia had given her these pills the last time she had been with Barnabas. It had been a very ugly, and violent scene. He had hit her over and over again after she had accused him of sleeping with Victoria Winters, but he had accused her of sleeping with Joe Haskell. Maggie knew that if he had wanted to know the truth regarding whether she was sleeping with anyone or not, he could find that out very easily.   She had made the retort about Vicky before she had given it a thought, sparks of anger and rage had shot through her when he asked her that. The first hit by him had resulted in her scratching at him, leaving a scratch down the side of his face. The second blow, she had lost all reason and had jumped on him and was attacking him like a crazed-rabid animal, and that's when he had really hit her or so it seemed. Dr. Hoffman had told her that she was anemic, and that's why it hurt so badly.

Maggie didn't want to think about that right now. But the jumbled thoughts wouldn't stop. The gossip about Victoria Winters seeing the eligible and much-sought after Barnabas Collins had reached her. From that moment on she hated Victoria Winters. Vicky was, at one time her very best friend. They had confided in one another their desires and hopes for the future, she with Joe Haskell, Vicky with Burke Devlin. Both were gone now. Joe in a very emotional episode in the Evans cottage had informed Maggie that he wanted his ring back, and never wanted to see her again unless it was passing on the street. She could hear him say the words "when Barnabas Collins decides he's tired of you, Maggie, don't even think about calling me or trying to see me, because as of right now, I don't think I could be held responsible for my actions. I want you to remember what I said, Maggie, because I loved you so much, you remember that I said WHEN not IF Barnabas Collins decides he's tired of you, because he will tire of you. You're nothing more than a plaything to him, you're what the people of this town say you are, Barnabas Collins' Whore. People are laughing at the fact that he's at Collinwood every night, getting warmed up with Victoria Winters, and putting the fire out with you. Word has it, Maggie, that he's going to marry Vicky."

Maggie had screamed for him to get out, but she had seen the hurt in his eyes, just as she had seen the hurt in Pop's eyes. She hadn't been able to stop seeing Barnabas no matter what people said, or how humiliated and ashamed she would feel during the day. People just didn't know the truth, but she did, and she would never betray Barnabas no matter what. She would love him until the end of time. the hurt in Pop's eyes. She hadn't been able to stop seeing Barnabas no matter what people said, or how humiliated and ashamed she felt, she was helpless to stop her actions, her love. Her thoughts slipped back to Vicky, and what close friends they had been. They would go window shopping together, and when Vicky would plan a picnic for David she would invite Maggie, and they all three would go exploring the caves beneath Widows Hill. Then they would hop in her father's old station wagon and go into the village for ice cream. It had been fun-filled days for all three of them.   Maggie had told Vicky that she was going to marry Joe, and they wanted to have 10 kids, and were going to start right away. Vicky had told her that she and Burke were going to get married, and they had wanted to start a family right away. They had laughed and joked that they would have a double wedding, and go to the hospital together to deliver their first child. It had been fun and carefree days for them both. Then tragedy had struck for Vicky. Maggie reached for the bottle again, this time grabbing four of the small round saviors, as Maggie secretly called them, popped them in her mouth and within minutes she slept a fitful sleep, unaware of the moaning sounds she made, and the stream of vomit oozing out the side of her mouth, and onto her pillow. On a business trip to South America Burke Devlin's plane had gone down, and there were no survivors. Vicky had been inconsolable. The only person who seemed capable of consoling Vicky was Barnabas. Every evening would find Barnabas by Vicky's side at Collinwood. Elizabeth gave them the use of the study so they could be alone to talk. Elizabeth was aware that Barnabas was a source of comfort to Vicky, and subtly encouraged the visits.

Barnabas spent as much time as possible with Victoria, as he preferred to call her. He would sit patiently as Vicky would tell him over and over, she would never admit that Burke was dead. Barnabas and Vicky were restoring the West Wing together. Vicky found herself looking forward to Barnabas' visits, and when he didn't come, she was surprised at how disappointed she was. Vicky was falling in love with Barnabas. His plans for her were becoming a reality. Vicky found herself, as the weeks passed, doing whatever it took to please Barnabas. So far he had been a perfect gentleman to her. Vicky found herself dreaming how it would be if he kissed her, but knew she would never initiate it. She knew from conversations with him, that he was old-fashioned, and that meant a woman was not forward. His type did not marry women that were fast, and forward with men like Maggie Evans.

Vicky did not judge Maggie, but had been very disturbed by her behavior, was at a loss to explain it.   Maggie and she had been best friends. Maggie had befriended her when she first came to Collinsport, and a fast friendship developed. When Maggie was kidnapped, Vicky had suffered such mental anguish, and the joy she had felt when Maggie came walking in The Blue Whale that one night. Vicky had noticed Maggie's reaction to Barnabas, and had been a little puzzled by it, but did not give it very deep thought. She still didn't. Right now she had been thinking about Maggie: she was glad Maggie was gone.

In her heart, she knew her gladness stemmed form the feelings she was developing for Barnabas, and she didn't like knowing that he was spending nights with Maggie. Vicky knew what Barnabas was doing with Maggie, but did not feel any jealousy, just frustration. She knew that men like Barnabas did not marry women that behaved in the manner that Maggie did. Thoughts such as those gave her little comfort, but now that Maggie was out of the picture, maybe something real would develop between Barnabas and her. She could hear the rain starting as she prepared herself to face the day. She could already hear David calling her to hurry up.

Julia and Willie had breathed a sigh of relief when Barnabas had agreed to convince Maggie it was best for her to go visit her relatives in Canada. They both knew that he could command her to do it, and she would have no choice, and that's what he had done. Julia was afraid that Barnabas was going to end up killing Maggie, and the results of something like that occurring -- Julia felt a shudder go through her body just thinking about the consequences of such an act, not only to Barnabas, but to her.

Her treatments, as far as she could tell, were almost at a 100% success rate. Barnabas would be cured, completely cured.   He had not fed since Maggie had left a month ago. Even feeding from Maggie had been so minute, it was almost pointless. But Barnabas had explained to her the need for blood at the climax of vampiric lovemaking, at the beginning of their doctor/patient relationship. Julia could remember wanting Barnabas so badly, she would have done anything for him, now she didn't seem to feel that way about him. She wanted to go back to Wyndcliff as soon as she was sure of Barnabas' cure. From the last few blood tests he had been changing all along, her practiced eye had seen the changes in the microscope, as minute as they had been.

There was one blood test that Barnabas must never see! She would make sure of that -- oh, what did she care? Thoughts were jumbling through her head with no beginning and no finish. Her head was starting to throb. Good! Almost sundown.   Grabbing her medical bag, and coat -- she should get her umbrella, it was drizzling, but chances were it would be pouring by the time she left. Walking out, she didn't notice the official-looking piece of paper laying on the floor by the entrance of her bedroom door. Just as she was walking out of her room, so was Carolyn.

"Oh, Julia, you're going to the Old House to see Barnabas?" Carolyn asked benignly.

"Yes, I found some very interesting facts about a relatively unknown Collins, and I'm anxious to continue it, and do more research, if need be, " Julia replied smiling.

"Well, see you later," Carolyn called after the retreating form of Julia Hoffman. Carolyn noticed the paper, and saw Julia's name on it, and said, "Julia!" But it was too late, she was gone.

Carolyn looked at it, and her eyes widened as she saw that the historian she thought was Julia Hoffman was, in fact, Dr. Julia Hoffman. She wondered if Barnabas knew. Oh, well, I'll ask him later after I talk to Mother, she was thinking, as she had unfolded the paper and saw Maggie's name, and -- she read the name again alongside Maggie's and muttered, no, this can't be."   She kept reading, and before she could stop herself, she said loudly "Oh MY GOD, No!"

To be continued --

Beverly Collins-LaCroix