Subj: Chapter 5 of Redemption
Date: 3/4/01 8:32:12 PM Central Standard Time
From: Daphne

"Around, around in reel and rout, the death-fires danced at night."
Samuel Taylor Coleridge, "Rime of the Ancient Mariner"

January 14, 1971 7:30 p.m.

Somebody help me! The disembodied voice tried to penetrate the static fog that surrounded it, but its efforts were to no avail. The sound traveled nowhere and all identity was trapped in the void, leaving nothing behind in the mortal realm but emptiness.

The only being who could hear the voice was the one who kept it painfully mute.

Barnabas! The voice cried out once more, but as before, nothing was able to penetrate the silence of darkness' heart.

************

Julia sat quietly in the drawing room, feigning interest in one of Carolyn's fashion magazines as she waited for Barnabas to appear. The house was unbearably quiet and the silence gave her time to think of what was bothering her. Awakening that morning from strange dreams she couldn't quite remember, Julia had found herself thinking of nothing all day except Barnabas' lack of feelings for her. Images of Barnabas and his many women had constantly played in her mind like a twisted silent movie. She saw him with Maggie, Vicki, Roxanne and all the others, watching from the sidelines as she always had. She had tried to push everything out of her mind, remembering Quentin's advice to take a day off from her work with the children; even Jake's insistence that she take as much time as she needed hadn't improved her mood. Instead, the time to herself only made her feel worse.

He doesn't love you and never will! The voice had nagged her many times in the past, but before it had spoken with the kind of sadness that came with regret. Now it seemed as if it spoke with a different - and very angry - voice. Though Julia didn't know what had triggered her sudden depression, she knew what she had to do about it. She was tired of the pain and self-doubt and of the unending loneliness. The truth was suffocating her and there was only one way she'd be able to breathe again.

She had considered visiting the mausoleum and killing Barnabas while he was still unconscious, but there would be no satisfaction in being such a coward. She wanted to confront him so he would know her pain and how she died a little every time he turned to some vacuous bimbo for comfort and affection. The reality of her situation was brutal in its simplicity. She would never be as young and attractive as the women Barnabas was attracted to, and no matter how many times she put her life on the line for him, he would never love her. Julia had thought through her plan at least half a dozen times and knew what she had to do: she would confront Barnabas and when the silver bullet had done its deed, she would return to her room and take a handful of the sedatives she always gave to others. It was a plan that would solve everything, for her broken heart would be avenged and the pain of the past five years would finally be gone. No doubt it would be yet another tragic footnote in the Collins family history, but there was no means of escape.

It's the only way, Julia. You know what to do, the voice continued to taunt..

The familiar click of the front door opening turned Julia's attention to the foyer where she watched Willie and Barnabas enter, speaking to each other in hushed tones. She had the annoying feeling that they were talking about her but tried to mask her feelings behind a false smile as she greeted them. "Good evening, Willie. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," Willie cheerfully responded, "I'm just on the way to the kitchen to get something to drink. Would you like to join me?"

"No thank you. Maybe some other time."

"Ok. See ya, Julia." She watched as he walked away and then turned to Barnabas. For an instant, she thought she saw suspicion in his eyes but then the feeling subsided and her thoughts returned to the task at hand.

"Barnabas, I need to talk to you. Can we step outside please? I'd like to take a walk."

"Of course, Julia." He helped her with her coat and they left the relative safety of Collinwood, walking along the perimeter of the estate. There was a gazebo at the end of the path and she could carry out her plan there with no interruption. Once they reached their destination, they stood together for a few silent moments looking out at the water.

"Barnabas," she finally began, "have you ever considered my true feelings for you?"

The question took him completely by surprise. It was difficult for him to talk about his relationships considering what had happened in his past, and he hadn't been able to love Julia because of his curse. He hadn't wanted her to suffer because of the mistakes he'd made in the past and putting distance between them had been the only way to protect her. "You and I have always been close, Julia. I'm very well aware of that."

"Are you really?"

"Julia, what sort of question is that?" He was genuinely concerned about her. Willie had told him that she had been behaving strangely all day, but he hadn't been prepared for a confrontation.

"A valid one I think."

"What is wrong with you? This isn't like you at all!"

"Isn't it Barnabas? I'm so sick and tired of this charade. I'm tire of having to pretend that I have no emotions just because you're too busy chasing your bimbo of the week to notice me. Why do you think I stayed at Collinwood all this time? I should have left a long time ago, but I couldn't. I had too much foolish hope that someday you'd realize I stayed because I love you. I had hoped that there would be a future for us, but obviously there never will be."

"But Julia, I didn't want to subject you to the curse. I never wanted Angelique's evil to touch you. I thought you knew that."

"Maybe that's true Barnabas, but you never even gave a second thought to pursuing all those other women. How many times did you almost get caught because you attacked some prostitute on the docks? You could have taken what you needed from me and you would have been safe, but no. You had to go find some tramp to satisfy your needs every time. I know that Jeb's curse is worse for you than Angelique's was - - that's why it's been so difficult to cure you this time! I can forgive you for what you did to Maggie because you weren't sane when you were released from your coffin. She had the unfortunate fate of resembling Josette too, so I can overlook your feelings for her. But what about Vicki and Roxanne? Vicki was sweet, but you only cared about her after you lost your chance to make Maggie into Josette. And Roxanne was in a damn coma when you first saw her for God's sake! Honestly, Barnabas, what did they have that I didn't?" A single tear slipped down her cheek and when Barnabas tried to brush it away, she abruptly turned her back on him. He was stunned into silence, his mind racing as he realized he had no reasonable answer for Julia. His bloodlust made it impossible to control his urges, but even so, he didn't know why he turned to the women he had chosen. An explanation wouldn't matter anyway; the damage had already been done.

"I don't know," he whispered, "I don't know, but I'm so very sorry."

"I am too, Barnabas," she cried, "because there's only one way to end this." She reached into her pocket and drew the gun, turning back to face Barnabas.

"Julia no!" Barnabas gasped. "Killing yourself isn't the answer. Let's try to work this out!"

"Oh Barnabas, you're so naïve," she laughed, "this gun isn't for me." As she raised it to his chest, the presence in the void screamed, and a supernatural force rejoiced in its final triumph.

*************

Please God, don't let me be too late! The thought played in Willie's mind like a mantra as he ran breathlessly through the woods. He had chosen a shortcut instead of taking the path to the gazebo, and errant branches tore at his clothing, hindering his movement and stinging his skin. He was frustrated, but there was no time to think of his discomfort - there were far more important things to worry about after what he had just witnessed.

Even though supernatural events were quiet ordinary at Collinwood, Willie was still frightened by the way he had learned that Julia and Barnabas were in trouble. He had returned from his walk and was making hot chocolate when he'd had the eerie feeling he was being watched. A cold hand then gripped his shoulder, and when he turned around he had come face-to-face with a ghost. She resembled Mrs. Stoddard, but wore an antique gown and ribbons in her hair and was obviously one of the many Collins ancestors who acted as the family's protectors. She was crying, but before he could ask what was wrong, she had taken his hand and led him to the window, pointing out into the night.

"Please help them, Willie. They're in terrible danger!" the ghost begged.

At first, Willie hadn't understood what the problem was; all he had seen was Barnabas and Julia walking along the path to the gazebo. Then a translucent mist suddenly hovered behind them, writhing in the darkness before taking the form of a young woman. When the mist merged with Julia, the faintest echo of laughter across the estate and Willie had felt numb with fear when he realized he recognized the sound. Only one woman he'd ever encountered had such a cruel and mocking demeanor - - Cassandra! She'd brought terror with her to Collinwood once before in the guise of Roger's young bride, and Willie had vowed to destroy her if she ever returned. Realizing that Julia was possessed, Willie found himself running through the woods, praying that he would be in time to stop the violence he feared would ensue.

Reaching the gazebo, Willie stopped only long enough to catch his breath, watching helplessly as Julia threatened Barnabas with a gun. Before considering the consequences of his actions, he stumbled through the woods and launched himself at her. Grabbing her around the waist, he reached for the gun in a frantic effort to disarm her. His actions were, however, futile.

"Julia, no! Put the gun down! You don't want to do this to Barnabas!"

"Let go of me you, bastard! This isn't your concern! Leave me alone." She struggled against him, but he was too strong and she couldn't break his grip on her.

"Julia, please stop!" He pleaded.

"Willie, be careful!" Barnabas called out, worried that if he tried to intervene, someone would be hurt. He didn't understand Julia's odd behavior, but felt that he could have reasoned with her if Willie hadn't interrupted. Although he appreciated and respected his friend's loyalty, Barnabas was angered by the young man's recklessness.

Before Willie could respond, an explosive bang crackled through the still air, deafening him as Julia slumped to the floor of the gazebo. For a moment, he was too stunned to move and could barely speak when he realized he was responsible for what had happened to her. "Barnabas…I didn't mean…to hurt her. I-I'm so sorry!"

"Shut up, Willie!" Barnabas snapped as he knelt beside Julia. The wound was already pooling with blood, and the smell of it was so strong he could almost taste her essence. If it had happened to anyone else, his bloodlust would have overpowered him and he would have taken advantage of the situation. He was closer to Julia, though, than he had ever been to anyone, so he fought the sickening pain of the curse and pressed his handkerchief over the hole in her coat.

"But Barnabas…"

"You shouldn't have touched her! You didn't even stop to think about what you were risking by grabbing her! I could have stopped Julia but you just had to interfere, didn't you? I've got to get her back to Collinwood - - I don't have time for this stupidity now!" Wrapping his cape around her, Barnabas gently lifted her and disappeared into the woods.

Willie watched his friend leave in stunned disbelief. How could he be the one at fault when much more sinister forces were at work? He remembered the angry vampire that he had released from the mausoleum four years earlier, and recognized that same evil in Barnabas' hurtful accusations.

"I'm sorry, Barnabas. I didn't mean to hurt her…or you…" Willie whispered before he fell to his knees on the floor of the gazebo, crying tears of overwhelming grief as demonic shadows mocked him in the darkness of the night.

Dark Shadows is a Dan Curtis Production