Subj: Fallen Angels Chapter 3-Revelations
Date: 11/11/99 4:20:20 PM Central Standard Time
From: Daphne
Chapter 3-Revelations
"Please don't hurt me," Jenny begged, trying to pull
her hands away from Barnabas' strong grasp. "I didn't mean to upset you."
She cowered in fear, afraid that he would strike her, and it wasn't until he
saw the drastic change in her temperament that he realized how emotionally scarred
she really was. Reaching for a towel, he wiped the soap from his eyes and turned
back to Jenny, caressing her face as he tried to calm her.
"Jenny, I am not going to hurt you. I want to help you, but you have to calm down and let me do what I can."
"Then you're not mad at me?" she whispered, as if she couldn't understand why he cared about her.
"No," he reassured her, "I'm not. I just want you to sit still for a moment so I can wash your hair, alright?"
"Alright," she agreed, smiling as she allowed herself to relax into his arms. He washed her hair with one arm wrapped comfortingly around her, letting her go only long enough to rinse the suds from her now-tame hair; as he began to gently bathe her, Barnabas forgot about how uncomfortable it was to be sitting fully-clothed in the tub. Instead, he reflected on the past and what Jenny's dependence meant to him. He hadn't been able to care for anyone since Angelique's curse had consumed his life. No amount of his love and strength could have shielded his mother and sister from the horrors of his existence as a vampire, and in the end he'd had to watch them die tragic and painful deaths. Even after his inadvertent resurrection, his selfish need to recreate the past had made him hurt others and had pushed him away from his family. It wasn't until he'd become human again that he'd begun to give of himself and even in this timeline, where he was once again a vampire, it felt good to be needed and trusted by Jenny. Although she hadn't been the reason he had returned to the past, he found himself wanting to put her health and happiness first, regardless of the effect his interference would have on the future.
Jenny suddenly trembled and Barnabas realized that the water had grown too cold for her. Leaving her only long enough to change his clothes, he returned and lifted her from the tub, drying her off and wrapping her in his robe before taking her back to Josette's room. They sat silently before the fire so that her hair could dry, and in the pale orange glow of the flames he could see that she really was a beautiful woman. Only the pain of a broken heart, and the abuse she had suffered had stolen that beauty, and Barnabas had to force himself to think of her only as a sick friend who needed his help. It would have been so easy for him to take what he needed from her, but he couldn't allow himself to do so. The sexual nature of the vampire's kiss would have made him as weak as Jeremiah had been when he had taken Josette as his lover due to Angelique's curse; although he didn't think very much of Quentin at the moment, he still had his family ties to consider. Families weren't supposed to betray each other that way, and it was in fact that same sort of betrayal that had so brutally punished Jenny. He would not do anything that would further inflame the already tragic situation that had begun to unfold at Collinwood. Motioning for Jenny to follow him, Barnabas found one of Josette's antique nightgowns in a trunk and helped her put it on before he tucked her into bed.
"Jenny, can you tell me what happened after you came here?" he asked once more, afraid he would get nowhere if she became hysterical again.
"Why do you want to know?" she snapped, suspicious anger clouding her eyes. Didn't he know what would happen to her if she told him anything?
"Because you're very lonely and hurt, and it might help you feel better to talk about your pain."
"But they told me they would make me leave if I said anything, and I have no place else to go..." she protested, tears of panic suddenly streaming down her cheeks.
"Jenny, I promise you that whatever you say to me will remain between the two of us, but you don't have to tell me anything that will make you uncomfortable."
She turned away from him and laid down, confused by his attitude toward her. He couldn't possibly understand her pain or why it was so difficult to remember certain parts of her past. He wouldn't understand the voices that taunted her or how the loneliness was so intense it was physically painful. It seemed that there was no reason why he should want to help her, and yet he did. He was almost adamant about it. The only one she'd ever been able to talk to was Beth, but even Beth had betrayed her. Would Barnabas really be any different?
"We met in Monaco," she finally whispered, so desperate to find relief that she would do anything he asked of her. "I was working as a singer in a bar...it was the only thing I was really good at, and music was my life then. Nothing exciting ever seemed to happen until the night I met Quentin. I could tell when I saw him that he was different than any other man I'd ever met. My music seemed to mean something to him, and when he looked at me, it was like he could see into my soul. He stayed after all the others had left so that he could introduce himself to me. For the next few months it was as if we were the only two people on earth...after we made love for the first time, he asked me to marry him..." Her voice broke as she thought of the long-ago happiness they had once shared. It had seemed so perfect then, but if she could have looked into Magda's crystal ball and seen the future, she would have never given herself to him.
"It's alright, Jenny," Barnabas told her, "we have all night to talk. Just take your time and try to relax." He rubbed her back until she stopped trembling, and when he sensed that she had calmed down, he encouraged her to continue telling him her story.
"When we came here, I felt like a princess. I wasn't used to all the beautiful things Quentin gave me, and I'd never lived anywhere like Collinwood before....it was overwhelming in a way. And his family never liked me. They thought I was after his money, and because we'd only been together a few months, I couldn't convince them that I really loved him. I tried so hard to be perfect, for Quentin and the rest of the family, but everything I ever did seemed so inadequate. Then Laura came back....and things began to change for me and Quentin. We spent less time together, and when he did find a few moments to be with me, he always seemed so angry. I didn't realize the distance was because of his...relationship...with Laura until I found them together. In our bedroom...I was so upset I couldn't even cry at first...all I could think of revenge. Of hurting him as much as he'd hurt me. So I told his brother....and Quentin was disowned and forced to leave Collinwood. He was so angry with me-he came to our room before he left, and told me that I had ruined his life. When I told him that I was the one who had been betrayed, he slapped me. He'd never hit me, not even in our worst arguments....but he was drunk, and I was too upset to realize that I shouldn't have said anything back to him. He grabbed me, and put his hand around my throat....he said I had to be punished....and he forced me to...well I can't really remember everything that happened, only that he was too strong and I couldn't fight him. I wasn't going to tell anyone what had happened, but the next morning Beth came to check on me and she knew what he had done. She went to Judith, even though I begged her not to, and after that they locked me in the tower. They were so afraid of a scandal corrupting their name that they didn't even care about me. That's when I started hearing the voices, and they told me that I deserved what had happened. I was so lonely that I didn't even want to live. I had awful nightmares, and I couldn't escape what had happened, even though I wanted to. I was sick a lot too, and Beth told me that it was because I was going to have a baby. For a while, I felt better, knowing that my child would give my life purpose, but they took my babies from me. Oh, they tried to tell me that my children were dead, but I knew better. I heard them crying....sometimes I still do...."
Barnabas laid down beside Jenny and took her in his
arms, hoping that he had somehow been able to ease her torment even just a little
bit. He had known that Quentin possessed a dark side; that much was certain
when he'd confronted his cousin's ghost in 1968. What he hadn't counted on learning
was that his cousin had a malevolent temper, one that had caused him to
rape his wife and leave her in such misery that her mind had broken down, sending
her spiraling into depression and mental illness. He would soon have to leave
Jenny, for dawn was nearing and he had to return to his coffin, but what would
he tell her to keep her from panicking and thinking that he was like the others
in his family?