Subj: DARK FRONTIER, DS/TOS Crossover, 11
Date: 4/24/01 6:41:15 PM Central Daylight Time
From: JM Lane

Spock ordered the meals for Kirk and Lt. Holloway upon reaching the Inn's dining room, paid for them, then tipped the Head Waiter to take the meals up before ordering his own and searching for both Christine and McCoy as well as a place to sit which was hopefully located within earshot but not sight of them. The last thing he needed was for one or both of them to come by and spot him, so he had to be careful. (What he didn't know was that both had spotted him the moment he entered, but pretended not to notice his presence.)

To his surprise and pleasure--though he sternly schooled himself to conceal the latter--the Vulcan managed to find a spot fairly near to them on the starboard side of the room. There was an artificial oasis with seats behind it, the oasis blocking the view of him and vice versa…but what mattered to Spock was being able to hear them-- and he could do that just fine.

For a while (fifteen minutes or so, the Vulcan estimated) the two Doctors discussed medical matters--such as how Lani was doing. Spock occupied himself with his own meal during that time. Not long before he finished, he heard Christine say, "I imagine you're most curious about my relationship with Barnabas Collins, aren't you, Leonard?"

"Just a little," McCoy returned dryly.

"Then I must have your word that you won't discuss this with anyone, including me, if Spock is anywhere around--or even if you think he *might* be around. Not that I really think it would matter that much to him if he did know. For that matter, he might even thank Barnabas for occupying my time and consequently, getting me off *his* back." Her voice lowered near the end, then she was silent for a time, presumably eating, drinking or both.

"Don't worry, Chris, he won't hear it from me." McCoy winked at her. "Though I must say that I don't like your denying me the opportunity to needle him with this," the Doctor chuckled…then the CMO was also silent for a while before he finished speaking. "Now what's been going on with you and Barnabas?"

At this point, Spock pricked up his ears and listened intently. This was what he had been waiting to hear.

"Well, the night we first met, he asked me to dinner and a movie, as you know," Christine said. "But what I didn't tell you before was any details of the evening. While we were in the theater, Barnabas brushed some of my hair aside and leaned over to kiss my ear--then asked if he could kiss me."

McCoy's eyes widened and his brows lifted in surprise upon hearing this, though Spock didn't see it. He heard only the silence after Christine finished speaking.

"I see. Go on," the elder Doctor finally said, his tone unnaturally quiet.

"Not long after that, he *did* kiss me--then put his arms around me and held me tightly. It went on so long that I could imagine what Lani was thinking all this time…and incidentally, Barnabas is a very good kisser. Reminiscent of Spock when he kissed me on Platonius--but the kiss between Barnabas and myself was mutually desired. I truly doubt that Spock would have done such a thing in the same situation, even if Lani hadn't been there."

Christine took a breath after her lengthy explanation, then a swallow of her drink, pink lemonade "on the rocks". Spock knew this because he had heard her order another, though he didn't know exactly what kind of meal she had ordered.

"And then what?" McCoy prompted before taking a bite of his own food--Spock was certain he had ordered some kind of Southern dish (the Inn had a small selection of Southern dishes)--then washed it down with his own favorite drink, a mint julep.

"He whispered that he wanted to…sleep with me and asked if it would be possible." Her voice was soft, but the Vulcan's keen ears caught every word--and one can imagine how he reacted to that revelation, given his new-found feelings for Christine. This time Spock's eyes widened and *both* his upswept brows shot into his bangs… then he felt a sharp pain in the vicinity of his heart at the thought of Christine giving herself to another man--allowing him to kiss her, caress her, undress her…then physically join with her.

*Dear gods, no!!* he exclaimed to himself, scarcely able to bear thinking about it for longer than a few moments. At the same time, he knew he had no right to object or even try to stop her from doing so if she so chose. If any more of the conversation held shocking news like this, Spock was uncertain whether or not he could handle listening for much longer. That one revelation was likely to keep him awake all night as it was!

"…he could wait," she said.

The Vulcan cursed himself for having missed some of her conversation, but vowed to listen all the more carefully after this--for as long as he could.

"Yes? What did you say, Chris?" McCoy again prompted. "I'm afraid I didn't catch all that."

Spock silently blessed McCoy for this; now he would know what he had missed.

"Then Barnabas said he didn't think he could wait, and wanted to know when and where we could do it, even suggesting his cousin's home. He said he has his own room there and that his cousin always respects his privacy, so we wouldn't be disturbed."

Christine again took a breath, then continued after another swallow of her drink. "I told him how tempting his offer was--than Lani broke the moment by saying it was time to go. When I thought of how we had been going at it, I couldn't help blushing, you know?" she confessed, feeling her cheeks redden at the memory of the passionate interlude.

"I swear, I hadn't felt like that since the encounter on Platonius!" the female Doctor exclaimed. "Just the same, I couldn't help
thinking of Spock and how much I wished to God it could have been him. Fat chance of that, though," she finished morosely, bowing her head for so long that it took McCoy's touch on her hand to bring it up again. Her eyes were full of pain and frustrated love. "Damn it, Leonard, why does he have to be so godawful stubborn? Why do I have to love him so much when there's so little chance for me?"

"He's a Vulcan, Chris," McCoy returned. "They cornered the market on stubborn. As for the rest…" Again, the Doctor's voice trailed off. "I've never been able to figure him out on that score any more than you have. I always figured that to reject true love when it's offered is the height of illogic, particularly in light of the *pon farr*…but he's done just that--and done it for years." The CMO twisted his lips and shook his head in bewilderment, though only Christine saw it.

"Well, to get back to the subject," McCoy began again. "What happened when you *did* sleep with him? I'm assuming you decided to go for it."

Spock steeled himself to hear another difficult revelation. Even as painful as it was, however, he knew he had to hear it in order to be able to formulate a plan to hopefully win back Christine.

"I got together with him the next night at his cousin's home," she explained. "His cousin, Quentin, was out for the evening, so we were alone. He told me a lot of his family background. Good thing I thought to take my tricorder; I got everything on tape. We listened to classical music after that. I was cuddled up next to him with my head on his shoulder and his arms around me. It felt very similar to how I think Spock's arms probably would--that is, if I could ever get him to notice me."

Spock winced again upon hearing this. If only she could know his true feelings right now; if only he had the strength to tell her! He cursed his cowardice which had kept them apart and ultimately led to her affair with Barnabas Collins.

"After a while, he pulled me close so that our lips were just barely apart, then asked to…make love to me. And I said yes."

These last words stabbed into Spock more painfully than any knife. He had to do something drastic—-and soon—-or else he would lose Christine for sure! But what?

"Well, how did it turn out?" McCoy wondered. "Was he all you expected?"

"Much more," she sighed. "I've never felt more satisfied or fulfilled in my life! Yet even at this point, I was wishing it had been Spock. Damn him, why does he always have to come between me and every man I try to get involved with?" Christine lamented, her tone a mixture of anger and pain.

Once again, the Human woman sighed and finished her drink, but pushed her plate away. "I've lost my appetite, Leonard. I can't eat any more. Besides, we've been away from Lani for over an hour; we've got to check on her, see if her condition's changed at all."

With that, Christine and McCoy pushed their chairs back and got up. When Spock heard this, he knew he had to get out of the room but quick. He stood up and hurried out, the pain inside him almost incapacitating. The way he felt, he doubted he would be able to discuss it with Jim until he'd been able to sort out everything in both his mind and heart.

He had gotten the answers he sought, but found himself wishing he'd never come to the restaurant, never eavesdropped. The loneliness and emptiness inside him was incredible—-worse than any he'd ever felt before. The only thing that made it anywhere near bearable was the fact that Christine still loved him, despite what she had done with Barnabas Collins. Even so, how could he realistically expect her to choose him, even if he did manage to declare himself and she actually believed him? It would not only be arrogant but illogical to take her choice for granted, although Spock's half-Human heart prayed for that very thing to come about, despite how bleak things looked now.

But he still had to make sure to do something in order to give her a better, more logical reason to choose him…though even then, it was possible that no matter what he did, she might still decide against him—and he couldn't blame her if she did. In that event, the Vulcan still didn't know how he would ever handle being in such close proximity to her and know she was lost to him forever because of his own cowardice. It was still likely, however, that she would still decide to remain with the ship, even if she became Mrs. Barnabas Collins.

*You stupid kre'nath,* the Vulcan cursed himself as he stumbled blindly to the elevator, thankful he didn't run into anyone between the restaurant and his room, so no one would see him in his selfinflicted misery. *Why in Vulcan's name did you wait so long to declare yourself, you miserable, insufferable in'fai*?

The distance between the elevator and the door of his room had seemed endless, but he finally made it. He was glad to see that Lt. Holloway had gone; he assumed that she had returned to her room…the room she shared with Christine. He even noted that what had been her side of the table was immaculate, while the remnants of Jim's meal still sat before him.

*Christine!* Spock thought, anguished, the name calling up her face, her smile, her kiss… Even now he could feel the warmth, taste the sweetness of her lips despite the fact that their first and only kiss had been forced. But that didn't matter now. The point was, it had occurred-—but if he didn't do something to fight for her, if only figuratively, he would never taste those lips again. *No! That must not happen! I cannot…will not…lose her like this!* his mind and heart shouted almost simultaneously.

One look at his Vulcan friend told Kirk something was very wrong.

He followed Spock into their shared bedroom with its twin double beds. "Spock, are you all right? Is something wrong?"

The Vulcan did not answer, flopping down gracelessly onto his bed, one arm covering his eyes to block out the light from the window-—and hide his unbidden tears.

"Spock, let me help…please," Kirk entreated. "I can't stand to see you suffer so."

When the Vulcan finally did speak, his voice was so soft Kirk could barely hear him. "Please, my friend," he whispered hoarsely. "I…know how—-concerned you are for me, but I… cannot discuss it now. Please leave me. I-—must be…alone for a time, to—-gather my thoughts."

His friend's tone was so pleading that Kirk could not deny him.

"All right, Spock, but if I don't see you within four hours, I'm coming back to check on you."

The Vulcan nodded stiffly in the direction of Kirk's voice, then the latter quietly left the room, closing the door soundlessly behind him, his frustration and concern twisting into a heavy, painful knot in his gut at not being allowed to help his friend in the latter's time of greatest need.

Vulcan terms:

kre'nath – bastard, undesirable

in'fai – idiot, blockhead, etc.