Subj: Never Without You Part 1
Date: 6/12/99 5:02:32 AM Central Daylight Time
From: Jody
Dr. Julia Hoffman stood peering out the window in the drawing room of the Old House. Evening was approaching and Julia was hoping to get a glimpse of a scenic sunset that particular evening. She had received word that a new doctor would be working with her at Wyndcliffe, a colleague she had slightly known in medical school at Cornell. Those days seemed long ago, she thought." How hard did I work in medical school to receive my degree. Countless hours of clinical, exams. She remembered the days went by so fast she didn't remember one day from the next. They seemed to go into each other. Before she knew it night was over and just beginning. She never remembered relaxing. For the attainment of a medical degree , and more particularly in psychiatry had been so arduous particularly the oral exams. Had she had loathed those in their entirety. Competing in a predominantly male field at a time in history when few women entered that particular field. That only complicated what was a monstrous undertaking. For that reason alone many of his colleagues made her existence to obtain her degree almost impossible. So not only did she struggle in the pursuance of a degree but also encountered from stereotyped prejudice a resistive effort to support her obtaining her degree in psychiatry. But wonder of wonders, not only did she hold the degree proudly in her hand at graduation, but she held in front of those who had tried to obstruct her completion. Those were the days she thought, a poor struggling medical students idealistic practical, dedicated to helping man. How many years ago was that she thought. But she thought she wouldn't have traded those years for anything. For she found, she even though she struggled had been some of the happiest days of her life and well worth it. Besides, Julia got a great deal of satisfaction from running Wyndcliffe and treating patients. It was the one patient who did recover that made all those long hours at the hospital worthwhile. For her to see one patient leave Wyndcliffe and start a new life in society was more than rewarding her hard efforts. The gleam in the eye of a cured patient always remained in Julia's heart.
And yet standing at the window thinking, Julia realized how she did love her profession in the helping aspect of doctor and patient and was quite proud of that fact. She didn't see it a cold profession but a man or woman's life was restored. What a happy thought. She had returned from 1840 a much different woman. She had known a friendship with Barnabas and was to close to him in no other way no man ever was in her existence. Collins had brought an aspect of Julia, that had never been exposed before , she began to feel like a woman, and more "human" as she used to say. Long ago, she had said to Dr. Woodward, "When I am with him I feel like a woman." Dr. Woodard asked, how does Barnabas Collins feel about you. "He sees me as a woman." That belief maybe evident to Julia was that as it was, soley owned by her. Barnabas and she had been friends but outwardly he acted so contained for her it was difficult to ascertain how much he did feel about her as a woman. But was more certain fact, as she became more human she began to heal from a hard-core exterior she was known for maintaining. And that humanity she started to possess in her heart and soul benefited her patients. For the mere existence of existence in Maslow's hierarchy of needs was insufficient. "I know now that man doesn't merely existence for food, clothing and shelter. But to maintain a rich life, a human has a heart, soul, and spirit and strives a higher being of thinking to divulge in that aspect of his or her soul. " Just from that knowledge alone, Julia began to know of her own heart, soul, and being that she was aspiring to ascertain in her life. She no longer thought of herself as merely existing but rather achieving what is termed as self actualization within the realm of the human soul especially in terms of her spirit.
Wyndcliffe had grown to the point where additional staff was needed to handle the patient load accordingly. She had some doctors on staff already but was in need of an additional doctor. She had been referred one of her former classmates from Cornell who reputation been devoted wholly to the welfare of her patients. Dr. Jeffrey Halstead III was a loving gentleman who had dedicated his life to his work to the betterment of his patients. For that reason he had never married, his patients were his life. He was a very gentle caring man not the cold clinical type that one may suspect. And for that reason and his reputation as fine doctor , he was hired at Wyndcliffe. In fact, that was the man Julia had been waiting for at the window. She had told Barnabas about the newest addition to her staff. Barnabas had really never given much thought to this man until he came to Collinwood.
Barnabas had left the Old House to join Julia at Collinwood to talk to her as he used did. He was fairly used to that. They remained quite close friends. So as Barnabas was walking up the the new house, he caught a glimpse of a man who looked lost. "Can I help you?, stated Barnabas. "Yes, replied the stranger, I am on my way to see Dr. Hoffman. I am the new doctor at Wyndcliffe. How do you do, are you Mr. Collins , Dr. Hoffman's friend she is always talking so well about? I hope we can be friends, I have been so buried in my career that I neglected the important things in life -a wife, a family, but I mean to rectify that. I am sure you will be quite a good friend. Julia speaks so well of you. It would be nice to have a good friend to confide in you know they are so hard to find," replied Dr. Halstead. In fact, just call me Jeffrey."
Barnabas was completely surprised by this man. He had met many people in his life, but this man seemed very compassionate, warm, caring, trusting, a very decent type of man. Barnabas never had meet few men of his humility in life. This truly was a good man and he trusted Barnabas. A small jolt of jealously had consumed him when this man had mentioned Julia as a wonderful dear woman and the fact Dr. Halstead was looking for a wife. Dr. Halstead was the marrying kind and would make a devoted husband to any woman he loved. Barnabas started to feel different.
Thoughts raced in Barnabas' mind if this man would pursue Julia and ask Barnabas for his advise on how to win her. All of the sudden, Barnabas felt numb.
The men walked up to the New House together, had pleasant conversation, until Barnabas saw Dr. Halstead's gentle face looking at Julia. How Julia looked back at Dr. Halstead, she smiled and displayed such a softness, Barnabas was starting to feel nauseated. Not in his wildest dreams, had he ever thought about a decent gentle sort of man gazing at Julia. Julia could only respond to such behavior with gentility. He stood there besides himself.