Subj: Dirk the Spastic Vampire
Date: 3/19/00 11:21:11 AM Central Standard Time
From: Kallie
"DIRK, THE SPASTIC VAMPIRE"
(To the tune of "Puff, The Magic Dragon")
Dirk, the spastic vampire,
Lived by the sea,
And frolicked in the graveyard mist,
Drinking blood so greedily,
Phoenix Laura Collins,
Lead Dirk on just enough,
To make him steal, drain his life force,
And other nasty stuff, oh,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chorus
Dirk. the spastic vampire,
Lived by the sea,
And frolicked in the graveyard mist,
Drinking blood so greedily,
Dirk, the spastic vampire,
Lived by the sea,
And frolicked in the graveyard mist,
Drinking blood so greedily,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
His mind became unravelled,
Upon hearing his lover wail,
Angelique she won this round,
All Laura's plans did fail,
Burnt down to a cinder,
Back to Ra, she went in flames,
Her flunky tried to seek revenge,
Reveal the vampire's name, oh
Chorus
By Barnabas he was bitten,
Being drained was his doom,
Barn desires a new vampire,
Dirk 's in the secret room,
Barn 's goofed, yes it happened,
Dirk was in his control no more,
And Dirk, that spastic vampire,
He made the body count soar,
His gluttonly caused sorrow,
His eyes they looked insane,
Dirk was never very smart,
When it came to punchin' veins,
Edward would prove his end,
Brave was that old fart,
So Dirk that spastic vampire,
Got a stake right through his heart! oh,
Chorus
Kallie >^,,^<
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