Subj: When Nature Calls
Date: 8/16/01 10:19:52 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Kallie

"When Nature Calls"
or
"Brother Let Me Spend a Dime"

(Of course the real expression is "spend a penny", but with inflation and all, LOL!)

(To the Elvis tune "All Shook Up")

This one is sung by a rather destressed and frantic Vicki.
_____________________________________________________________________

Why didn't I go to Bangor?
What's wrong with me?
Now I'm trussed up like a turkey and I gotta pee,
Matthew'd like to squash like a little bug,
That a thug!
UH! (Grunting sound),
I'm all tied up,
Mm mm, (sounds from being gagged), oh, oh, help, help.

It's been a long time and I'm about to leak,
Seems that Mathew's done murder, what a psycho freak,
Into the briny sea Bill's bod he did chuck,
What a thug!
UH! (Grunting sound),
I'm all tied up.
Mm mm, (sounds from being gagged), oh, oh, help, help.

In a secret room that no one can find,
The caretaker 's freakin' me out of my mind,
Death by strangulation, or would an axe be the best?
At least I'd be free from Ole Halitosis breath.

Josette appeared told me to fear not,
The spooks will soon take care of that psycho pot,
At home to Burke, David fesses up,
I'd give him a hug,
But,
I'm all tied up.
Mm, mm (sounds from being gagged), oh, oh yeah, yeah!

Soon the ancient secret door began to creak,
Roger and Burke came to set me free,
The ultimate price Matthew paid for his crime,
To Collinwood quick I got to spend a dime!

(They rush Vicki back home to Collinwood and a short time later these sounds could be heard emanating from the bathroom down the hall)

Mm, mm, oh, oh, yeah! yeah!

Catch ya later,
Kallie >^,,^<

Dark Shadows is a Dan Curtis Production.