Subj: Kate ch 28
Date: 5/23/00 3:06:40 AM Central Daylight Time
From: Karen
Kate put the van in gear and drove to the Old House. All she could think about was telling Barnabas she was back to stay. How he would react to her pregnancy, she didn’t know. Please, let him be happy, thought Kate.
As she got closer to the house, Kate noticed that the house seemed shut up, as if everyone was away. The curtains were drawn, the shutters were closed on the upper half of the house, the walkway looked like it hadn’t been swept for weeks.
Kate got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She hurriedly parked the van and turned off the ignition. Jumping out, she ran to the front door. Kate pounded on the door with her fist, pleading, "Please be here, Barnabas, please."
No one answered. Kate’s heart sunk. Is everyone gone from here? Where was Barnabas and Willie? She continued to pound on the door. Nothing. No voices, no footsteps, nothing.
Kate felt panic rise in her throat and she tried the door handle. It opened, to her relief. As she stepped in the entryway, Kate noticed that the house didn’t smell like it used to. It smelled musty and closed in. It hadn’t looked like anyone had cleaned in a long time. Dust was everywhere.
Kate cautiously stepped into the living room. The fireplace was full of ash, tables were covered in dust, empty bottles were littering the floor. She picked up a bottle and sniffed the contents. Brandy. Who could have drunk all of these bottles of brandy?
Suddenly, Kate heard a noise from upstairs. She walked to the foot of the stairs and listened. A drunken voice bellowed from above.
"Get out of this house, whoever you are! GET OUT!" Fear gripped Kate’s heart. The voice was Barnabas’, but not his. It was slurred and so angry.
Kate called out, "Barnabas, is that you? It’s K...."
She was interrupted by an angry shout. "GET OUT! I know who you are. I don’t want to see you. GET OUT NOW!"
Kate put her hand to her throat. It was Barnabas. What had happened to him? She headed up the stairs, taking two at a time. When she reached Barnabas’ room, the door was locked.
"Barnabas, please let me in." Kate asked, knocking softly on the door. She heard him inside his room, moving around, throwing bottles. "I couldn’t be away from you any longer. Please let me in, my love."
His voice came from just behind the door. "Why are you here?" Barnabas said harshly. "Why are you here to torture me? Go away and leave me alone." His voice cracked.
Kate put her face to the door. "I am here because I love you, Barnabas. I couldn’t stay away another second. I had to come back." She said, trying to keep the panic from her voice. She felt tears prick her eyes. She wiped them away, determined not to cry. Not now.
All Kate could hear was Barnabas’ breathing on the other side of the door. She said softly, "I am not here to cause you pain, I am here to be with you, always. Please open the door, Barnabas, please." she pleaded.
Seconds passed that seemed like hours. Kate sunk to the floor, with her back to the door. Drawing up her knees, she hugged them with her arms and allowed the tears to come.
The door opened suddenly, throwing her onto her back. She stared up at the stern face of Barnabas. His features were twisted in such anger that Kate was afraid. She quickly got up and stood by the doorway. Barnabas pulled her roughly into the room and slammed the door.
Kate looked around the room. The bed where they last made love was tangled in a bunch, with sheets and blankets twisted and dirty. Brandy bottles littered the floor around a green wing-back chair by the fireplace. The windows hadn’t been opened for weeks; the room reeked of alcohol, sweat and unwashed linens.
Looking at Barnabas tore at her heart the most. His uncombed hair stuck out from his head; it hadn’t been washed in recent days. The clothes he wore hadn’t been changed in a long time. The worst was the weight loss. Barnabas had always been thin, but now his face looked cadaverous, accenting his cheekbones. His clothes hung on him like a scarecrow’s. Kate started towards him when he put his hand out to stop her.
"Don’t come any closer. I don’t want you touching me." Barnabas said angrily. His eyes burned into hers, but not the way they used to. Those beautiful, sensuous eyes were now dark and forbidding. They held such anger, Kate stopped in her tracks. She sat down on the bed, wrapping her arms around a poster, waiting for Barnabas to speak again.
After a few moments, he said tersely, "You made your choice. You decided to go and stay away." Barnabas stalked up to her until he was about two feet away. He continued angrily, "Do you know how you hurt me when you didn’t come back? I waited and waited, trying to be patient. Everyone kept telling me that you would be back; I was not to worry. As the days turned to weeks, weeks into months; I knew you would not come back. I have spent the last few weeks trying to forget you. I almost had, until today." he said wearily. Barnabas walked over to the chair and picked up a half-empty brandy bottle. Taking a big drink, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Now, I will thank you to go back to your time. Leave." He pointed to the door and waited for her to comply.
"Barnabas, I am sorry I hurt you. I thought I was doing the right thing." Kate said quietly. "I was wrong. Please find it in your heart to forgive me." she said, placing a hand on his arm. She could feel his muscles stiffen at her touch.
Pulling his arm away, Barnabas ordered, "Leave now, before I do something I regret." The menace in his voice was frightening, but Kate knew that the love they shared was stronger than all the bitterness he felt.
Kate had tried softness, but now she was angry. She was angry because she had allowed him to frighten her; angry for the child she carried, Barnabas’ child, their child.
Kate pushed Barnabas down on the bed. He was drunk, so he fell easily. When he tried to get up, she pushed him down again, this time not as gently. Barnabas began to protest, but Kate told him to be quiet.
"Listen to me, Barnabas Collins, you are not the only one hurt. It hurt terribly to leave you. I cried myself to sleep every night; just thinking about how much I missed you. Don’t even think about it!" she said as he started to get up. "You stand here and tell me what a martyr you are. How hurt you are that I left and didn’t come back. Well, let me tell you something, I wasn’t going to come back at all. I felt I belonged in the future, not in the past where men treat women like shit, war is raging in Southeast Asia, Tricky Dicky is fucking President of the United States! Bobby Kennedy is dead, so is Martin Luther King. 1969 America is a screwed up place!"
Kate laughed at the expression on Barnabas’ face. "You are shocked, aren’t you? Most ladies of your acquaintance do not use that kind of language in anyone’s presence. Quit playing this game, Barnabas! Why can’t you accept the fact that I came back because I couldn’t stay away any longer?" Kate laughed derisively. "I was a fool to think I couldn’t come back to this time. I want to be with you, Barnabas! I love you. It’s that simple." she said softly, anger dissipated.
Barnabas sat up and grabbed Kate by the shoulders. Angrily he said, "You have plucked out my heart, roasted it and eaten it for dinner. Is that what you wanted to come back to? I am defeated. I can not even say your name, it hurts too much. Now get out."
Barnabas released her and she fell onto the bed. Should I tell him about the baby? Kate wondered. Now didn’t seem like such a good time.
As she started to get up, Barnabas suddenly shoved her back down on the bed. "Shall I show you how much you have hurt me?" he said tersely. "Shall I?"
Barnabas began to rip her clothes off her, pinning Kate down with the weight of his body. He grabbed her roughly, pinching and clawing at her flesh. She struggled against him, but he had weight and anger on his side. Tears sprang from her eyes, running down her eyes and onto the bed.
"Please, don’t do this, Barnabas! This is madness!" she cried, still struggling.
In answer, he savagely kissed her, biting her bottom lip. Kate bit him back hard, tasting blood. She could feel his hard body against hers, feel the hardness of him straining against her stomach. She had to get him off her. She didn’t want this, this rape to happen.
Kate kept her legs together as tightly as she could. Barnabas tried to get them apart with his hand, but failed.
"Spread your legs, damn you!" he whispered harshly in her ear. She clamped them tighter together.
"Please, stop this! For the sake of the love we shared, for our un...." Kate stopped. She could feel Barnabas freeze. He grabbed her chin and turned it to face him.
With shock in his eyes, he said, "’Un’ what?" Barnabas’ mind was reeling. He rolled off Kate, breathing hard. "Our ‘un’ what, Kate?"
It was the first time he called her by name since she walked in his room. Hearing his voice say ‘Kate’ as only he could, made her heart ache for joy. They both lay side by side on the bed, breathing heavily.
"Our unborn child, Barnabas. I am pregnant with your child."