Subj: Elmo -- 1
Date: 1/2/00 2:56:36 PM Central Standard Time
From: marcos1

My name is Elmo. I'm handsome, brave, and very smart. I live in a house constructed by a man named Joshua Collins. My home is very special, constructed with the finest material, some of which, was imported from Europe. Fine marble columns, the most exquisite and delicate fine crystal chandelier, beautiful portraits, wonderful jewels hidden in secret places worth millions, truly create a showplace. And--hey--do you like romance? Well, let me tell you, some of the world's greatest loves, have taken place right under this very roof. Does Barnabas and Josette, ring any bells? Or how about, Magda and Sandor? Yes, there have been some very great loves. Sadly, most of them, ended in tragedy. But those are the breaks. My late mother used to always say, life ain't no bowl of cheese. Oh, not him again. Well, talk to you later.

"Barnabas," Willie Loomis shouted, "I see him. Elmo, that damn mouse." He grabbed Barnabas's walking stick and smacked hard at the rodent, missing him and sending splinters of wood into the air. "Oh, shit, I almost got him that time."

"Willie, give me back that cane," Barnabas shouted. "If you broke it--" The handsome vampire reached for the cane and pushed his servant against the wall. "I swear...I'll kill you."

Willie was breathing very hard. He just hated when Barnabas threatened him like this. He knew good old Barny didn't really mean it. After all, they were friends. "I'm sorry, Barnabas. It was just that damn mouse...I've been trying to kill him for so long." He looked down at the cane. " Hey, if I broke your cane...I'll buy you another one."

"Willie," Barnabas said, his fangs started to show, "that cane is almost two hundred years old. It is irreplaceable." He tried to compose himself. He had a date later that night with Victoria Winters the most gentle and urbane of creatures. It wouldn't pay to show this side of his personality. "Willie, my dear friend, it is quite all right. By the way, gentle friend, why do you call that mouse Elmo?"

"Cause that's his name," Willie replied.

"How do you know that surprising bit of information?" Barnabas asked.

"I just know," Wille said smiling.

"How? For George the thirds sake, it is a mouse?" Barnabas asked, again. He could feel his temper starting to flare again. He hated stupidity and this was quite frankly very stupid.

"He told me," Willie replied. He moved closer to Barnabas. "Hey, you aren't still mad are you?"

"A mouse talked," Barnabas said, shaking his head. "That is simply ridiculous. Are you a hammerhead, or, a lunatic?" He paced back and forth in a rage.

"He sure did," Loomis said, chuckling. "That little fellow can really talk. Really a little better than I can. He must've had more school than me. I only made it through ninth grade. He seems more like a college mouse."

Thoughts of Victoria ran through Barnabas's mind. They were planning on first, a trip to an art museum, then they would spend the rest of the evening reading Proust. It really should be quite a nice evening. Why let this low class fool bother him? Maybe it was time to find another servant. Perhaps a female one, young and very well endowed. That would be so nice! "All right, dear Willie, good luck finding your talking mouse," Barnabas said softly. He put on his cloak and walked out of the old house.

Willie walked through the house looking into open mouse holes. He'd find that mouse yet.

Oh, this harsh life! Why do I have to suffer with such fools? Elmo thought to himself, as he crawled even deeper into the basement to safety.

To be continued at a later time