Subj: Lexx Falls Into Dark Shadows
Date: 1/9/00 5:59:28 PM Central Standard Time
From: marcos1

Stanley H. Tweedle is the captain of the Lexx. The Lexx is a living spaceship, powerful enough to destroy entire planets. It is in actuality just a very big bug. A bug that will hopefully, help the escaped prisoners escape the force of the evil Shadow.

"I'm horny!" Kev cried out from the lower dock. Kev is a beautiful woman with only one thing on her mind physical bonding with the opposite sex. Recently she was transformed into the incredible creature that she is today. Formerly she had been considered anything but attractive to men, very overweight, without a pretty face. She had still been horny though.

"Please believe me, beloved," 790 said, "when I get a body...you will be constantly satisfied. I will perform much better than these chemical creatures, which are really just large bags of water... when you really get down to it." 790 is a disembodied robot head. It had been his plan to turn Kev into a lovely love slave using the transformation machine. The lovely part had worked quite well, but the love part had been turned on him. Now, 790 is a mechanical head in love.

"I no longer feel any passion at all," Kai added calmly. He is a dead man. Dead for two thousand years. A trained assassin, slave to the Dark Shadow. His body is animated through a special type of fluid. Having no memory of his past, he never cared about the killing. But through an accidental meeting with the raw force of the Shadow, his memory had returned. Now, he, too, was seeking a new home in the dark zone of space. After all, what is a dead guy to do? Just stand around or what?

"There is a planet ahead," Stanley said, "it doesn't look very promising though. It is all blue, surrounded with some kind of spatial distortion...probably a time warp."

"Oh, Stanley," Kev moaned, "lets land. I want to have a sexual experience. And if I do," she smiled at him, blinking her eyes, "when we return to the ship...so will you." She shifted her posture, exposing parts of her ample cleavage. Before the transformation, she had never had such power. But now she had a type of magic with men. They would do anything to be touched by her. Anything.

"All right," Stanley replied. He was a middle-aged man suffering from severe sexual deprivation. He wanted Kev. If he only lasted a minute, so what? With backup pipes, the pressure usually caused a quick explosion. He shifted his hand. "Lexx, we will land now."

~~~

Eliot Stokes is reading the diary of Ben Stokes. There is a fire blazing in the fireplace. A glass of port is on the table, along with a plate of very sharp cheddar cheese. His old female cat named Endora is resting on his lap. "Simply, amazing," he said to himself. "This man, Ben Stokes had been a self-educated man. His observations about the eighteenth century Collins family were so pedantic. If I didn't know better, I would assume that he had been an Oxford scholar." He shifted through to a page worn and torn, very hard to read. "Except for his ranting about Barnabas Collins...very imaginative, but unbelievable. A vampire indeed!" A knock at the door, shifted his attention from his studies. "Who could that be? And at this late hour." He glanced at his cuckoo clock. It is almost ten's clock. He opened the door.

"Sex," Kev said, "I want sex." She glanced at Stokes, with his broad jowls and portly frame. And added, "do you know where any men are?"

Stokes calmly opened the door further. He saw nothing that unusual about the four beings. After all, Christopher Longfellow, his colleague at his Rocksport college had long ago predicted that there was life on other planets. These four are merely visitors that satisfy the conditions outlined in the book. The woman is young and beautiful, dressed in scantly attire. Weren't female visitors always this way? The disembodied head is obviously a robot of some type. The young man is a warrior. That is clear enough. And the other middle-aged fellow well three out of four isn't bad. "Please come in. Have some wine and
cheese," he said smiling. "I am very delighted to meet you!"

Tonight will change the life of Professor Stokes forever.

~~~

Still, important questions remain: Will Barnabas fall in love with Kev? How about Julia and the darkly mysterious Kai--she has always been attracted to the undead? Will Professor Stokes find another body for 790? And finally, will Stanley H.Tweedle find romance with Elizabeth Stoddard? Stay tuned.