Subj: Solace
Date: 7/23/99 5:22:43 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Matthew Griffin

DARK SHADOWS
Solace

Angelique Bouchard walked through the snow-covered forest behind the Great House of Collinwood, her plum velvet cloak in sharp contrast to the vast field of white surrounding her. She pulled the dark violet hood further over her head, pushing golden ringlets of fair hair behind the hem, and pulled the cloak tighter around her small frame. Her feet left tiny imprints in the snow as she trudged through it, somehow maintaining an aura of grace. She could see no sun in the sky, covered from horizon to horizon by a sheet of silver gray clouds that seemed to generate an ambient light of their own. Stray snow flurries still fell
from the air, clinging to the icicles that hung on the limbs of the frozen trees like frosty stalactites; slowly drifting down to rest on her cape, tiny white ice crystals floating in a sea of dark lilac. Finally she came to the grove, and the yet unfrozen pond in its center. Tall trees formed a ring around the grove, the topside of their branches all covered in white like powdered sugar, the ground surrounding the pond a desert of ivory. She knelt down on the cold ground and drew the cloak about her knees as she pulled back her hood, long locks of shining blond hair falling about her shoulders in waves. She could feel the snow beneath her melting from the heat of her body as it soaked through the heavy cloak and dress she wore underneath to sting her legs with the chill of winter. But she could not let that distract her. She leaned over the pool, her eyes meeting those of her reflection. She held her own gaze, staring ever deeper into those large pools of light violet.

Her image began to waver before her, then started to grow blurry, transforming as her thoughts turned to the past. She saw herself, many years younger,with Barnabas in Martinique, staring deep into his dark, mysterious eyes. She could almost feel his hands holding her to him, his lips on hers, even now...the image changed again, and she saw herself lying unconscious on the floor of the Old House in a pool of her own blood, Barnabas beside her screaming in pain as the huge black bat tore at his neck... then they were in the mausoleum, his powerful hands around her neck, crushing her throat as she struggled in vain to
fight him off... suddenly it was the year 1840, and she saw herself standing before the gallows, a severed head grimacing in her hands as it withered away into a bleached white skull before her eyes... Barnabas, standing before her, finally confessing his love to her as she lay dying... A warm tear fell from her soft cheek into the pool of cold water, dispelling the images as ripples spread across the surface of the pond.

Slowly, new images filled the water; this time visions of the future... there was Roger Collins, once again frowning disapprovingly at young-- he wasn’t so young, now-- David... Elizabeth, Carolyn, and Maggie all gathered in the drawing room, giggling to one another as they drank sherry...

Angelique couldn't suppress her laughter as she saw Quentin Collins, that old charming look in his blue eyes, dining with a woman whose hair was so red her head seemed to be on fire, then taking a walk in the woods with a blonde woman, and then sailing with another-- a brunette, this time... then, Barnabas and Julia in the Old House, drinking coffee, both smiling, but Barnabas with a sadness in his eyes that made her own well up with tears, and as the water rippled once more, she again saw her own reflection.

How she longed to go to him, comfort him and hold him in her arms, cradle his head against her shoulder. All she had to do was walk back through the forest and knock on that door... No, she thought, no, not now. Maybe not ever.That
life was behind her now, she could not cling to it anymore. She had done much evil in the past, she had much to atone for. But she could not do it here, with the shadows of who she once was forever haunting who she was now. She picked herself up off the ground and walked around the pond, away from Collinwood. She would always love Barnabas. And she would see him again, she knew it, for their souls were bound to one another for eternity. As she walked, her mind wandered many years back to that day when she had finally let go of the hatred that she had allowed to build up in her heart for so long, when the jealousy had all melted away in the heat of selflessness, just as the snow around her would someday soon melt under the warm spring sun; the day when she did good of her own free will, expecting nothing in return. And she could see it now, this time not in the silvery mirror of the water but in her own mind’s eye: The look on Gerard’s-- she should say Judah, really--
face, wide-eyed and open-mouthed as he saw Barnabas standing outlined against the blazing sun shining from the azure sky... Julia, regarding her with skepticism and even envy-- she regretted that now, that they had been enemies for so long. They had been friends once; perhaps they could be again someday... and then, Barnabas, the joy inside him obvious on his face, his
smile. The light within him that had been dark for so many years was shining once more, reflected in his eyes... The tears were flowing freely now, but she did not look back; for she had much to do, much to accomplish, before ever she would return to Collinwood. And for the first time in 176 years, Angelique Bouchard smiled.