Subj: Collinwood 2001 Part Twenty One
Date: 5/29/01 6:11:29 AM Central Daylight Time
From: N.E. Collins

Three drag queens were on stage portraying the three Brady girls, Marcia, Jan, and Cindy. They were doing a live comedy skit where Jan Brady had decided that she was no longer a white girl. She was now a black girl. Her skin may be white, but her soul was black. She was wearing a big black afro wig and she was dressed like the last hoochie mama. As she danced around the stage her sisters looked on confusededly and disapprovingly. Jan gyrated and chanted a hip-hop mantra. "BLING BLING! BLING BLING! BLING BLING! BLING BLING!"

"Jan, mom isn't going to like this new personality you have developed anymore than the last time you wore this wig." Marcia said in her all knowing wise way.

Jan rolled her eyes and waved her head from side to side. Her big golden hoop earrings danced about and she put on some big sunglasses with blue lenses. "I HATE that white woman. And don't call me Jan. Tha's a white girl's name."

Cindy was alarmed. "You thouldn't thay that about mom, Jan!"

Jan turned on Cindy and grabbed ahold of one of her pigtails. "Oh no you didn't! Bitch! I tole you my name ain't JAN! It's Koe...Koe KANE!"

"Ow! Your hurting me!" Cindy pulled away and one of her pigtails stayed in her sister's hand. Cindy was beside herself. "MARCIA! Look what Jan did. I'm gonna tell!"

Marcia was too busy looking at herself in a handheld mirror to care.

Jan got up in Cindy's face. "Now you lissen to me you little midget momma, pimply faced Heidi wannabee! Things is gonna be different aroun' here and if you want to get along you better go along."

Cindy cowered in fear of her other pigtail and Jan continued. "Now, I am gonna do a song and I could use two back up singers and I could REALLY use some black sisters, but since I only got two WHITE ones, I guess that will do."

The music comes up and it was the Lady Marmalade song version from the new movie, Moulin Rouge. The three drag queens fall into perfect sync with one another and after the first few bars the crowd roars it's approval and just as it's getting really good there is a tremendous boom of thunder! The very building shakes from the force of the blow as a lightning bolt strikes the roof of The Purple Cow, and all the lights go out and the music slows to a dull throb as it fades to silence.

Nora Collins awoke from the noise of that very same thunder and lightning that had shut down the show at The Purple Cow. She was disoriented and bit muddled from the sleeping potion that Liz had given her earlier, but she couldn't back to sleep for the fury of the storm had gotten her attention. She wasn't afraid of it. She rather liked storms for she used to watch them as a small child. She was fascinated by all the lights and the rolling clouds and the wind. She liked the wind the best. The way it could make the trees bend over all the way to the ground and not break away. That was truly magic, she thought to herself as she began to wake up more. There was another flash of light followed by a less powerful thunderous reply and that is when she saw the shadowed figure standing right in front of her bed. It scared her, but then she wasn't sure that there was anything there. She cautiously reached over to turn on her bedside lamp, but it wouldn't come on. The storm had knocked out the power of her cottage. Another flash of light revealed that the unidentified figure had moved closer and this time she could see that it had a pillow in it's hand and it was holding it out towards her. "Who's there? What are doing here?" She was so scared she could only whisper the words. She pulled back into the pillows that surrounded her at all times, but then she sat up right when she realized that she may die there amongst them all. The lightning came again and now the shadowy form was right over her and lowering the dreadful pillow. She saw that it was an old embroidered one that had the words HOME SWEET HOME crochet on it. The pillow that her aunt Judith had given her for her eighth birthday was going to be used by some unknown darkened outline to snuff out her brillant flame. She found her voice and it was filled with such horror and loathing. "HELP ME! SOMEONE HELP ME!"

Dark Shadows is a Dan Curtis Production.