Subj: Collinwood 2001 Part 33
Date: 8/5/01 6:00:14 PM Central Daylight Time
From: N.E. Collins

Dave Woodard didn't like being caught off guard and especially by a patient that it was assumed had displayed recent violence. Handling violence was not his strong suit and instead of reacting well he froze in his tracks. The blonde sassyed over to him and walked her fingers up his shirt to his neck and purred like a kitten. "My, but they grow them big around here. A girl need never be lonely with a man like you around."

Dave cleared his throat. "I'm warning you, miss. There are people within shouting distance and we will not allow you to continue on your violent rampage!"

The woman gave Dave a bewildered look and then she seemed to understand. "Oh, no, ya got it all wrong, sweetie. I'm not the violent one. That was Jimmy. He was protecting the kid, and then Mary stepped in and settled him down and now I get a chance to stretch my legs. Do you like my legs?" She lifted her skirt to show off her gams and she moved them from side to side to emphasis herself.

Dave answered most unprofessionally. "Why, yes, I do, I mean they are very nice legs as far as legs go."

"Oh, honey, you gotta loosen up. How's a girl supposed to have any fun with such a stuffed shirt?" She picked up a lighter off of the table by the phone and handed it to Dave Woodard. "Ya kin start by giving a lady a light, big boy."

Glossy Print, the Windclyffe receptionist, was doing her usual best with the tedious job of customer service. She was a whiz at data entry, but she was a big zero with human relations. Her phone manners were deplorable and she was better at hanging up than answering, but she also knew how to straighten up and kiss up in front of her boss. But the boss was in the hospital and she was free to malign and render harm. She couldn't have been happier.

Carolyn Stoddard walked up to Glossy's desk. "I am Carolyn Stoddard and I am here to see my mother, Mrs. Stoddard. Would it be alright for me to go to her suite. I know the way."

Glossy had been given instructions earlier that no one outside of the staff was to be given access to the properties as there was a violent patient running amok. Her tendency to remember instructions was on the same par with her phone skills. "Sure, Miss Stoddard. You just go on back. I don't see any problem. Here. Here's a security pass." She handed Carolyn the pass and returned to an IM chat on the internet. Carolyn attached the pass to her breast pocket and went on her way.

Dave had loosened up as the blonde woman had suggested and he was not making much progress in the way of doing his job to find out more about her. She had run her fingers through his hair and blown in his ear and all his good sense had flown right out the window. Women did not treat him like this. They didn't even dislike him. They just didn't see him. He was the Invisible Man when it came to women and as much as he shouldn't have been he was enjoying the attention. The woman turned on a radio and some Sinatra began to fill the room with a sweet melody. "Now that's the ticket. C'mon, handsome, ask a lady to dance."

Without waiting to be asked she grabbed a hold of Dave and began to move about rhythmically.

Carolyn Stoddard knocked on the door and cleared her throat. "Ahem,...Dr. Woodard, I thought this was my mother's suite, but I see that it isn't?"

The blonde woman's back was to her, but the woman whirled around in fury. "Whassa mattah wid you, huh? Can't ya see I'm workin' here!! Go find yer own man, sweets! This one's mine!"

Carolyn's eye grew bigger than pie plates. The blonde woman was her mother! She was wearing a wig and dancing with Dr. Woodard! "Mother! What are you doing in that wig? Dr. Woodard, just what is going on here?"

"Mother? Hold on a minute! I aint' nobodies mother. No sirree, Bob! No brats for me."

Dave tried to speak up, but Carolyn couldn't be contained.

"Mother, it's me, Carolyn. Please, mother, please come back to us. We are all so terribly worried about you."

The woman turned angrily onto Carolyn. "Now look here, sister. I'm gonna say this once and ONLY once. I ain't Liz. I'm Vi. V-I. And I ain't got no kids and I don't want no kids. No. But I do want this man and since you ain't doing anything important why don't you go out and round up some beer for us? In a bottle'd be fine."

Dark Shadows is a Dan Curtis Production.