Subj: The Letter, Part Eight
Date: 7/9/01 12:34:39 AM Central Daylight Time
From: R J Jamison

Julia stood with Barnabas on the cliff’s of Widow’s Hill. She had asked him to accompany her on a walk, where she planned to tell him some of what she had told Roger and Elizabeth. After twenty minutes, they stood on the crest of the cliff and watched the waves crash below on the jagged rocks. The day was warm and a cool breeze brushed their faces. “It’s so warm today.” Julia looked down at her Chanel suit. All buttoned up as usual with a scarf around her neck. It wasn’t until Douglas appeared in Collinsport earlier in the week that Julia consciously recalled her adoption of the ‘armor’ as he so aptly identified it.

When she lived with him and his family in Baltimore, she hadn’t worn her professional clothes twenty-four hours a day. She smiled remembering Taylor shaking his head in disgust about the amount of closet space she needed for all her clothes. He eventually had to move all his clothes to another room entirely. He had been surprised to find Dr. Julia Hoffman Blaylock to be a proverbial ‘clothes-horse’. Her demeanor in every way would’ve said she was not that type of personality. But Julia at that time desired keeping two separate, well-tailored and accessorized wardrobes. Now at Collinwood, she kept only one well-tailored wardrobe with all the necessary jewelry, shoes and many different handbags. When she first came to Collinwood, in disguise as a ‘historian’, she had simplified her look to one or two suits, some sweaters and skirts but as soon as she revealed herself to be a well-respected and renowned doctor, she brought her well appointed wardrobe to Collinwood.

“A pleasant memory?” Barnabas asked. He noted the wistful expression on her face.

“Yes.” Julia pulled the scarf off and stuffed it in the pocket of her skirt. She then proceeded to unbutton the jacket. Barnabas watched closely as she slipped it off. It occurred to him that he’d rarely seen her in anything but a suit except for the dresses she’d worn in their adventures to parallel time, in 1897 and in 1840. They all covered her from neck to knee. In parallel time, she had worn Hoffman’s dreary black dress and in 1840, some nice gowns that Ben had secured. He had never told her how nice the 1840 gowns were on her. Now he noted her bare arms and her very fair skin. Julia turned to catch Barnabas gazing down at her unguardedly. “Surprised to see how white and freckled I am? Afraid the glare will blind
you?”

Barnabas didn’t understand the joke. “Glare?”

“Haven’t you noted how the young people like to soak up the sun and get tans? It’s hard to do here in Maine but they try.” She smiled. “People make a lot of fun of people with skin as white as mine, they say it will blind them.”

Barnabas reached over and brushed her arm tentatively. “I think it’s very nice.”

Julia tried not to react to the overly familiar gesture. “I forget, seeing any skin is still fairly enchanting for you, isn’t it?” Julia patted his hand. “No wonder you go for all the young women in mini skirts.”

Barnabas pulled away his hand. He frowned at the remark. “I certainly do not ‘go’ for all the young women in those absurd outfits.”

Julia arched her brow. “I was only joking, can’t you take a joke, ever?”

He watched her eyes and saw that she had been jesting. “Hopefully one day I will understand twentieth century humor. Willie keeps trying things but they are completely lost on me.”

“Barnabas, I wanted to talk with you about my letter.” She looked at him directly.

“I apologize for reading it but as I said, I did not know to whom it belonged to until the end.” Barnabas looked out at the ocean. He wanted to say no more about accidentally reading it, especially if she was not going to discuss its overall implications.

“Barnabas, my husband’s name was Taylor Blaylock.”

“Was?” He turned completely toward her.

“Yes, was. He died over ten years ago.”

“It’s still so painful to you?” Barnabas asked but the look in Julia’s eyes was not one of pain, at least nothing reminiscent of what he had seen in her eyes before.

“It is painful but not for the same reasons you have been pained by the losses of Jossette and Angelique.”

“You loved him?”

Julia stared at him in silence for several moments. “No, I did not.”

Barnabas pulled his head back from her in shock. He could not envision Julia marrying someone she did not care for. “Julia, I can not believe you were married to someone you did not love—“

“Can not?” Julia chuckled. “The woman I am now, certainly it would not be possible. But think back to me when we first met, can you envision that woman marrying for reasons other than love?” Barnabas thought back to the ‘meddlesome and domineering’ woman she had been. “Well, she would and she did.”

“What reason?” Even in his life, it had been suggested he marry for acquisition of land, wealth and social prominence but he had never considered it seriously.

“The ultimate reason for a young Dr. Julia Hoffman, my medical career.” Julia winced as a dark expression fell over Barnabas’s face. “I cared for Taylor and we had known each other since our pre-med days. He was also a doctor.”

“Was it a marriage of convenience for him as well?” Barnabas asked himself how much he actually wanted to know. He hadn’t liked Julia very much when they first met but now, he loved her, she was his closest friend and confidant. “Julia, did he love you?”

“Yes, without limits, he said.” A faraway look clouded Julia’s expression. Guilt and memories flooded her mind.

Barnabas watched her changing expression, ‘and yet she hadn’t loved him. Was her love for me the first she had ever experienced?’ Barnabas asked himself. “Understandable.”

Julia questioned his statement, “What do you mean?”

“I can see that loving who you were would be,” Barnabas grasped for words without insulting her. “You didn’t seem to care for much besides your work. A man would have to be willing to accept that, and if he did accept those constraints, it would signify a special type of love.”

“Very diplomatic of you, Barnabas.” Julia laughed. “You mean, anyone willing to put up with that ‘meddlesome and domineering’ woman would have to have been obsessed or something to survive.”

“Was it an obsession on his part?”

Julia’s eyes darted from the ocean waves to Barnabas’s face and then back again to the ocean. “Yes, I think it would’ve fit the clinical definition.”

“How did he die?”

“He went on a research mission to discover new medicines. He never returned.”

“How is it that he went to do that without you? It seems so aligned with your interests.”

Julia closed her eyes and remembered the days when Taylor had excitedly talked about his new life’s direction. How he had assumed she would join him. “I was supposed to go but I chickened out.”

“Chickened out?” Some phrases still needed to be defined.

“I became afraid, fearful, full of doubt. I didn’t want to leave the prominent position I had in Baltimore at Johns Hopkins. I was afraid I would be forgotten and. . .” Julia began walking in circles. “it was a stupid fear but I had it. But he was too
excited to stop, even for me. It was then that he realized I did not love him, that I married him out of companionship, friendship. We were best friends. I married him because being Dr. Julia Blaylock was easier than being Dr. Julia Hoffman.” Julia stopped to consider how many of her failings she wanted Barnabas to know. ‘He knows most everything else’ she comforted herself. “The Blaylocks had medical buildings named after them. I could be a doctor and not fight as hard for acceptance with that name. I could just be a doctor. It knocked down some of the barriers I had to face, not all, not nearly enough but some.” Julia looked down at her suit, the jacket over her arm. “My father-in-law reminded me that I didn’t use to wear my work clothes all the time.” She frowned. “But being a woman with any, no matter how few, assets tends to distract men from taking her seriously.”

“I am surprised that you would’ve taken a ‘short-cut’ as you call it but not unsympathetic.” Barnabas closed the distance between them. “Your skills as a physician are all that should have mattered but I know that my sex does not allow that.”

Julia looked at him. “Things are changing Barnabas. Things will be very different in a generation or two but I didn’t have that.” She looked up at him and smiled mischievously. She and Barnabas had spent many an evening discussing the emergence of the feminist movement and how Julia regularly contributed to several organizations. “And I’m proud of you for being able to leave behind the precepts of your age regarding a woman’s proper role.”

“I’m still unclear as to what happened on his research mission?” Barnabas said jumping back to the mystery of the moment.

“I have files you can read. His Father had investigators try to find him for years. He just disappeared off the face of the earth. Others from his expedition said there was some political instability where they were at and he was most likely murdered. He became too involved with people having their land stolen. He’s dead. I knew it a long time ago, but his Father wouldn’t accept it until recently.” Julia took a moment to look at the gold band on her finger. Barnabas also noted the gold band on her hand. He took her hand and fingered the band.

“Where was this?” He asked.

“In my safe deposit box. I hadn’t worn it since I moved to Maine in 1961.”

Barnabas noted that she placed the gold band on her finger next to the pearl ring that was normally and still there. “You’ve always worn this ring.”

“It is my engagement ring.” Julia felt a bit feeble discussing her rings while her hand was held by Barnabas. It was not unusual for them to have moments of tenderness but they never lasted long. He quickly would end them in order to not give her the wrong idea, which she never did hold onto for more than a millisecond. She sighed, it was a shame he did not
know this, she was well aware of the fact that her feelings were one-sided. It might actually make him less rigid around her at times if she just had the strength, no the courage, to tell him.

“Curious that you would continue to wear one ring, the ring of promise and not the ring of the marital bond.” Barnabas continued to hold her hand.

“I wanted to keep something of his with me but not the wedding band. I was not entitled to the name Blaylock, I came to it by insincere means and . . .” Julia let the thought be carried on the breeze. Her sentiments were clear.

“Next time you marry, it will only be for love.”

“Next time? My, you’re the eternal optimist aren’t you?” Julia waved her hand in front of him playfully.

“Optimism?? No, I know you will be married again.”

Julia’s expression changed from playfulness to consternation. “Please explain yourself.”

Barnabas only considered what he had just said and why he had said it. He looked at her and he did a very uncharacteristic thing, he imitated David Collins, and shrugged.

Dark Shadows is a Dan Curtis Production.