Subj: Out of the Past, 6
Date: 11/12/01 2:42:40 PM Central Standard Time
From: R J Jamison

The rewiring of the Old House was complete. The telephones installed; new bookshelves erected in the new second-floor office, the walls painted, furniture placed and yet the renovations were not deemed complete. They would not be complete until Julia smiled upon them. Barnabas sat at the desk in Julia’s office and surveyed the work of the local craftsmen. The floor to ceiling bookshelves were mostly bare. Barnabas and Willie had placed the few books Julia kept at the Old House on them. Barnabas looked down at the last thing he had ordered for the office and placed in the desk, stationary with the name Dr. Julia Hoffman Collins. He knew her professional reputation would require her to always use “Hoffman” although she had used Blaylock for the first five years of her career. Barnabas sighed as a clock in the recesses of the house chimed six o’clock. It was time to depart for Collinwood and his weekly Sunday night dinner with Elizabeth, Roger and the others.

As Barnabas walked toward Collinwood, he reflected on the inner peace that now existed in his life. While there had been moments of calm before, there had always existed an itching remnant of dread within him. It no longer troubled him. Angelique’s renunciation of her powers and her death had settled their centuries long feud. His return with Julia and Eliot to 1971 had been frightening in ways he had not anticipated. His life was his again. He could have what he wanted yet he did not know what that was. He mourned Angelique out of habit and garnered Julia’s ire because of it. He remembered the night that had changed everything within him. Julia sat across from him as she often did, reading some medical journal. Her visits to the Old House had grown less frequent. But tonight she had arrived without fanfare or agenda. A snowstorm raged outside and music from a battery powered radio filled the room. Power outings were occurring all over the area not that it mattered at the Old House. Barnabas listened to some erstwhile melody. He was trying to become more knowledgeable about modern day events and affairs. His out of date world knowledge and cultural tastes were being noted as a bit beyond eccentric. Julia had suggested a few things he should undertake to update his current world knowledge. Those ideas included reading several history books, listening to the radio for current news and listening to music from what would be his ‘era’. He had rudimentary knowledge of twentieth century history but studying it in depth had been unsettling. The various events in the world and the social unrest associated with them were so disquieting. Finally Barnabas had settled on reading Julia’s psychology texts as a type of self-analysis and listening to music. He had surprisingly found the music acceptable and a few pieces enjoyable. As he watched Julia read, one of the few pieces he enjoyed joined them in the room. A man with a raspy voice sang about how a woman went to his head. A soft piano accompanied the gruff voiced singer. It was then that Barnabas felt something well up within him that almost engulfed all that he knew. The man sang over and over again how the woman affected him and instantly Barnabas understood the man’s words. A delightful shock electrified his senses and brought a smile to his lips. Julia, he was so content when alone with Julia. As the surprising knowledge continued to seep into everything he felt he had known of the world, Julia sighed and closed her book in some frustration.

“I can’t concentrate.” Julia noted Barnabas’s oddly vacant expression as he stared at her.

“Isomething wrong?”

Barnabas’s eyes fluttered as a spell seemed to be interrupted. He looked down at the book he was reading. He had been immersed in a psychological text about men and their relationships with their mothers and the residual affects on their entire lives. He also noted the look of irritation in Julia’s face. “I just had a most pleasant realization is all.”

Julia lifted an eyebrow. “What would that be?”

Barnabas looked back down at the book. “I,” He paused. “think I shall share it with you a bit later. There are some things which I must sort out first.”

Julia sighed in resignation. “Fine, don’t share anything of yourself with me. Save it all for Angelique’s ghost!” She stood and was quickly at the door.

“Julia!” Barnabas stood and went after her. He had noted her increasing melancholia and irritability. “You can’t go out in the storm.”

“I can’t stand here and watch you moon over that witch one minute longer.” Julia jerked the front door open.

“Julia, you’ve misunderstood—“

“I’ve misunderstood quite a bit over the years haven’t I?” With that she was gone.

And then a few weeks later it was revealed that Julia had a husband and a very troubled past. Together Barnabas and Julia faced that past directly and a more distance past that extended much further back than either of them had ever imagined. As Barnabas felt ready to embrace all that Brazil had taught them, he felt Julia’s distance increase. She had not rushed to him and his outstretched arms. He knew she had been disturbed to find that her whole life had been controlled by another. While Angelique and others had manipulated Julia since her arrival at Collinwood, he knew Julia believed herself to be in some level of control all along. She was at Collinwood because of her love for the Collins family. She could come or go at will. Julia’s vision of herself was that of a strong and independent woman, she had not enjoyed being shown something else. It had not helped for her to learn that he had often been confounded by his feelings for her. He had pushed them away so many times. But she had not learned in Brazil that Barnabas had finally and willingly embraced love for her. For some reason Althia Collins had not shown that to her. The moment by the fire with the snow falling outside remained soley with Barnabas. The longed for love in his life, requited, had arrived and yet, it was still fraught with difficulty. Barnabas knew that this difficulty was not like others he had faced, it merely required patience.

Dark Shadows is a Dan Curtis Production.