Roger Collins stood in the garage and seethed. He was so tired of taking in strays. Vicki. Jason McGuire. Willie Loomis. Julia Hoffman (how many years had the good doctor been a "guest" with them, anyway; even unlimited sedatives had lost their charm)? Amy Jennings. Her brother, Chris. Hallie Stokes (let her stay with her uncle; she was teasing David too much).

Why was Liz so damn generous with the hospitality of the Collins mansion? TOO damn generous! He was FED UP with this, and he was going to put a stop to it. He held up the rifle, peered through the site and pretended to be firing it. "Boom!" he said, cackling, his mad blue eyes rolling wildly around in their sockets.

The following day, Sheriff Patterson, recently released from Windcliff, surveyed the carnage and shook his head, thinking how nice it would be to crawl into his bed at the sanitarium, fall into a fetal position, and take a whole bottle of the late Dr. Hoffman's sedatives. He had no idea what had compelled Roger Collins to fire bullets into each and every soul at Collinwood, including his own son, his sister, Julia Hoffman, Hallie Stokes, Sarah Johnson, Amy Jennings, who had been visiting, and finally, Barnabas Collins, who had made the unfortunate mistake of showing up in the midst of Roger's rampage.

Then Roger had raced to the Old House and murdered Willie Loomis, screaming, "And this one is for your friend Jason McGuire!" as he pumped 8 shots into poor Willie's very dead body.

As they were handcuffing him, Roger stared around at the blood-spattered living room and foyer with a huge smile of satisfaction on his face. "Finally, I have the whole place to myself," he chortled. "At long last!"

They led him away, babbling, "And this one's for you, Laura, I hope you burn in hell!"

Collinwood issued a deep bellow of laughter. It had taken time, but Roger had gone crazy right on cue. "Finally, the ancient house chortled, "all these assholes are gone, and I am alone! At long, long last!"

And the deserted Old House and Collinwood cheered together, ecstatic to be empty after so many years of putting up with that ridiculous family.

Love, RobinV