1968

Dear Carolyn--

It isn't easy for a guy like me to admit to being wrong, but I realize now that what I saw while spying on you and Barnabas at the Old House was nothing more than one cousin being affectionate (albeit excessively so) to another. You were right to chew me out for my jealousy. It was obviously unfounded. I'm sure there are many older male cousins who kiss their pretty, blonde female cousins on the throat. I just haven't met any until the Collins family, that's all.

I'd really like another chance with you and hope you'll go out with me again in the very near future.

Humbly, with sincere apologies,

Tony Peterson



The following day:

Dear Tony--

The truth is, what you saw happening between Barnabas and me was exactly what it looked like--two cousins sharing a fiery physical passion you couldn't possibly imagine.

I'll thank you, in future, to stop looking through windows on the Collins estate and stay in your miserably decorated little office in town, up to your ears in legal blue paperwork.

For heaven's sake, Tony, we're Collinses, we're rich, and we do whatever the hell we damn please.

Incest is best--the game the whole family can play!

Another date? With you? Well, after a night with Barnabas, I MIGHT share a beer with you--I know I'll be in need of the fluid replacement!

Then again, while you may be cute, you sure aren't rich--and you aren't Cousin Barnabas!

Bye bye!

Carolyn Stoddard