Martinique, 1795

Monsieur Barnabas--

Please come to my room after midnight. I have seen the way you look at me and know how much you want me.

When you arrive, you will find me waiting for you in my bed. I promise you that the delights that will await you are boundless!

I suggest you eat a hearty meal tonight, because you will need the energy with what I have in mind.

I have heard you frequently ride horseback. That's good, because once you get into MY saddle, you're going to find yourself riding in a manner that will require all your skill as a. . .horseman.

Your most obedient and eager servant, Angelique Bouchard


And Barnabas' response:


My dearest Angelique--

Knowing how desirous I have been of Mademoiselle Josette, and how my loins must have been near to bursting, Natalie duPres has already been taking care of my needs on a nightly basis. I must say, I am so enamored of her talents between the sheets, I not only must decline your generous offer, but might seriously consider making an offer of marriage to Natalie, whose energy is as boundless as my own.

Therefore, thanks, but no thanks.

Sincerely, Barnabas Collins

Love, RobinV