Subj: The Fire In Me
Date: 7/3/01 9:06:40 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Shadowalker

This seems to speak from my heart. It describes my own personal struggle....

The fire in me self-ignites,
I can't avoid another fight.
I can't allow one more disgrace,
Looking at your smiling face.
 
You treat me like a stranger,
Or even worse your enemy.
I now feel only contempt,
For what you've done to me.
 
The words you say still echo in my ears,
The words like, stupid, ugly, fat I still can hear.
I try to find my self-respect but it's all gone by now,
Words can hurt more than a clenched fist somehow.
 
When we started life was well worth living,
Then one day you just stopped forgiving.
Every small mistake I made you'd find,
Dissect it and beat it into my poor mind.
 
You'd take the smallest thing I did wrong,
You'd beat me with them 'til my smile was gone.
You berate me and made me feel so small,
Until now, at last, I feel nothing at all.....
 
The fire in me consumes my soul,
Sad to see that I'm  no longer whole.
I thank you because you were the cause,
And I thank you for all of my internal scars.
 
I thank you and I didn't appreciate,
The way you turned my love to hate.
I don't appreciate the feelings I now feel,
I shake you off and proclaim you no longer real!

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